My Brave Rebel: Book One (Bellarke)

Part 11

CLARKE:

I woke up to the most beautiful face I'd ever seen. Even though he was sleeping, he was more beautiful than everybody else. His face was relaxed and he had lost his usual hard, tough expression. He looked peaceful, and I couldn't help brushing my lips against his. I noticed that he waking up by the way​ he started to kiss me back, although his eyes were still closed.

"Well, good morning to you too, Princess." His voice sounded husky, deep and sleepy, which was, In fact, really sexy. He opened his eyes and stared into mine with lust and affection and for the first time in very, very long time, I felt genuinely wanted. I thought that I already knew how affection for others felt like. How it feels to hanker for someone. To feel desire and excitement for one person. But now I did, I understood that I never had a clue.

I grinned at him, hoping he understood how happy and comfortable I felt around him, without me saying a word. And by the way he smirked back at me and kissed the top of my head, I assumed he did. But then his smile disappeared and was replaced but a dead-serious, tough, rough, leader look.

"What's wrong?" I asked him worried. I felt his body tense and something in the air between is changed.

"We should get back to camp. Can't have people thinking were dead." He answered me coldly.

He started to collect his clothing off the floor and out them back on one by one. Then he tossed me mine and waited for me to get dressed. Everything about him, his voice, movement, look, made me feel rejected and used, weak and pathetic. I put my clothes on me and walked up to him fircely, standing as close to him as he would let me.

What the hell is going on with you?" I demanded to know, my voice full of strength.

"I'm not following here...what do you mean?" He answeres completely unemotionally.

"Cut the bullshit, Bell! You know exactly what I mean! What's with the act? Two seconds ago you were all prince charming and now you're all asshole of the year!"

"Oh, COME ON! You didn't really expect it to last, did you?! You and me? Don't embarrass yourself, Clarke! This," he started to wave his hands wildly between us and the air around, "this was nothing."

BELLAMY:

I hated myself more than ever. Seeing how much I hurt her made me wanna slit my own throat. She didn't deserve this. She deserved to be treated like the princess that she was. And I wanted to give her that. But the fact is that I couldn't. So it was better for her to hate me than for her to hope that day, I'd be the person she wanted me to be. Yesterday was a moment of weakness. I'd always known that I was never good for her. But that didn't stop me from wanting her. And for one second I let myself go and my body took controll over my brain and wiped out all common sense. Now, all I wanted was to hold her, kiss her, hug her, comfort her, be there for her, love her. But you don't always get what you want. Truth was, everyone in my life ends up getting hurt, or even dead. I couldn't drag Clarke into this mess of a curse.

When I saw her eyes got watery I knew I couldn't look at her much longer before I would take back everything I said, so I turned away for her and started packing my bag. Then I walked towards the hatch, and said "We leave in five, Princess."