My Brave Rebel: Book One (Bellarke)

Part 41

CLARKE:

I never find the words to describe how everything with Bellamy is so different. Different from the way it was with Finn. Different from the way it was with everyone else. It's like he was in my veins. He ran through my body like he was a part of it. And I loved the way it made me feel. We were like fire and rain. We collided and mixed. Making the fire look stronger and the rain more appealing. We crashed, but never stopped being two powerful individuals. It was a beautiful mess.

"Clarke, stop. You're not suppose to give yourself over to him so easily," I keep telling myself. But I couldn't restrain myself from any longer. I craved him like I craved sleep, food, water, everything! Our lips were made for each other, I'm sure of it. I couldn't seem to leave them for a second. I might need air, but I need Bellamy more. I found myself wondering if this feeling I had with Bellamy was how my mother had felt with my dad. If it was even remotely close, how could she ever want to give it away?

"My mother got my father floated." I suddenly whispered against his lips, wondering if he already knew. He looked down at me, with desire and admiration sparking in his eyes through the surprise of course.

"I didn't know that." He whispered back, his voice soft and dark, his breath warm and comforting. I nodded my head, not wanting to open my mouth again. I was afraid that if I did, my tears would stream down harder than this river did. He touched my face gently and forced me to look at him. He kissed me slowly. His lips met mine with soft movements. Then when his thoung met my lower lip and I was ready to meet his with mine, he pulled his lips away from my mouth and moved them towards my ear, never leaving my skin. He whispered softly into my ear.

"Marry me."

Wait! What? My heart stopped. Did I imagine he said that or did he really ask me to marry him?! My body tensed, as I stood there. I had no idea what to say. My brain froze and I couldn't seem to find my words. He moved slightly away from me so he could see my face properly. Her just looked at each other for a while. I couldn't read his expression. Maybe he'd expected an instant answer? Or at least a smile? And I tried, but it got stuck somewhere.

"Right..." He said disappointed and stepped further backwards, as pain flushed his eyes.

"NO!" I yelled as I reached out for him. "Its not,-"

"I dont know what I,-" he interfered.

"No, I wanna marry you!"

"It's fine, Clarke. Don't worry about it!" He said, trying to hide the pain he felt. I created that. The pain, I mean. Why did I have to do that? I knew I wanted to. He just caught me by surprise, that's all. I loved Bellamy! There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be his forever. It's just, I've never really had an spectacular good example when it came to marriage.

"Look,-" I said as I tried to grab his hand, but he walked up to the riverside, not meeting his eyes. Then I followed and grabbed his arm, spun him around, so we looked straight at each other.

"God dammit! Just...listen to me!! I used to believe in marriage, okay? All since I was little! I saw the way my parents looked at each other and I believed it was real! And I always imagined that's how it should be! But my mother floated him! She took the one life she was suppose to love! Ehst if marriage did that to them? Ruined them?"

"Are you afraid you're going to want to kill me? Cause if you didn't realize, that will happen, whether we're married or not." He said sarcatically.

"No, I'm...I'm just afraid we'll lose what we have." I answered, reaching out for him again, and this time he didn't pull away. "I don't want to lose you." I whispered in his ear.

"You won't! Which is why I'm asking you to be mine forever!"

"What about our 'break up'?"

"Break up is over. I can't live without you, Princess." He said as the corner of his mouth bent upwards.

"Ask me again." I demanded.

"Sorry, Princess! You had your shot." He said, jokingly, grinning widely.

I planted a kiss on his neck on the left side and then one on the right before I lifted my lips to his ear. He moaned, almost inaudible.

"Ask me again, you idiot." I said, smiling.

"Will you, Clarke 'Princess' Griffin, marry this janitor?" He didn't even have time to finish his sentence before I threw myself at him, wrapping my legs around his waist, and my arms around his neck.

"God, yes!!" I said, as I smiled brightly before our lips collided.