My Brave Rebel: Book One (Bellarke)

Part 18

CLARKE:

I needed to keep myself occupied so I wouldn't think about Bellamy all the time. It was almost sundown and they hadn't showed up. I had tried stitching a cut on a girls forehead but my hands kept shaking and I couldn't controll the needle, so Octavia had to take over. I had also tried helping Monty with communication system, but I was no use. I asked Raven if she needed help with bullet-making but she saw my hands shaking wildly and told me to do something that wouldn't hurt anyone or ruin anything. I just endes up pacing back and forth in my tent. Where was he?! I was starting to lose it. I sat down on my makeshift bed, breathing slowly to calm my nerves. After a while someone yelled from my tent "Clarke? You there?" I knew right after that Finn was the person who stood there, and I wasn't in the mood to reminisce about our past.

"Go away, Finn" I said exhausted.

He didn't seem to understand me, because he came inside anyway.

"I really need to talk to you."

"You have two minutes" I replied irritated.

"They got back from the raid."

"What?! Why didn't you tell me?!" I asked hysterical, standing up, making my way towards the door. Finn stepped in front of me, blocking my way.

"There's something else, Clarke!"

"Can it wait? I need to find Bellamy!"

"Clarke... Bellamy's not with them.."

My brain stopped working for a moment, and I didn't understand what he was saying.

"What do you mean 'Bellamy's not with them'?" I asked, freaked out.

"As in he's not back. They don't know where he is. He's gone Clarke. They thinks he's dead...," He looked at me with compassion. "I'm so sorry, Clarke..." He reached out for me, but there was no way I was going to sit here being comforted about a lie, especially by Finn.

"You're lying." I stated.

"Clarke," he began.

I grabbed my back pack and ran out the door. I found all the guys that went with Bellamy, by the fire. I searched there faces, none of them were Bellamy's. My heart dropped. My hands started shaking more and I felt like vomiting. He's not dead. He's not dead. Bellamy don't die, I kept thinking.

"Where is he?" I asked Wilim, one of the guys.

"I don't know Clarke. One minute he was there, then the next he was gone. We found blood, but it just lead us in circles."

"And what? You just stopped looking?"

"What were we supposed to do? He was no where! There were no tracks for us to follow, no voices to lead us."

"Coward! You see, that's the difference between you and him. He would walk through fire for every single one of you and you stopped looking because there was nothing leading you." I spited. They​ didn't know the real Bellamy. He may be missing, but dead? Not a chance in hell. And I would find him. I rushed to the gates after I found a gun and I didn't even turn around once. He was alive. I just knew it. Before I had even taken five steps away from camp, someone grasped my arm, pulling me back.

"What the hell are you thinking?! You can't just walk off into these woods alone! It's fucking suicide!" Finn whisper-yelled, clearly frustrated.

"He's not dead, Finn!" I wrestled my arm out of his grip.

"So what the hell is your genius plan then?"

"Find him!" I said fiercely, like a leader should speak.

"Fine, but then I'm coming with you" he stated.

I turned away from him quickly, ready to go, rattled by his presence, when all of a sudden another voice made me turn around.

"I'm coming with you too!" Octavia announced. And two seconds later, Jasper was right beside her. "Count me in!" Who was I refuse them?

We started to walk when we heard another voice breaking the silence.

"Let's find this bastard." Wilim spoke up, walking past us to the front.

I nodded slightly at him as he passed, aware that my words affected him more than he would like to admit. I held my head high to seem brave. Just because my insides were falling apart didn't mean I couldn't stop being a leader. We walked behind each other, Wilim in front and Finn in the back. Not caring about the dark, we walked and blended into the woods as shadows.