My Brave Rebel: Book One (Bellarke)

part 25

CLARKE:

Everything moved in slow motion. Wilim, who yelled at me to do something, Octavia's break down as she realized her brother might not wake up, Gus dragging his hands​ through his hair. I, however, couldn't seem to move. I had his blood on my hands, and his lifeless body in my sight., And I couldn't seem to shake the feeling that I killed him. I'm pulled out of my thoughts as I feel a slap across my face. I stare at the desperate and regretfully face in front of me.

"I'm sorry, Clarke, but you got to do something!" Wilim yelled, as he grabbed both of my arms and shook me like a doll. He looked at me, like he wanted to rip an idea or solution out of my head. I pushed his hands off me and jumped up on the operating table. I strattled Bellamy and placed my hands on top of each other at the middle of his chest, a little bit towards the left, and pushed them down with force repeatedly. I did this for I don't know how long, then I placed two fingers under his chin and pinched his nose and moved my lips until they met his and blew air into his lungs, twice. Then I did it over again. I tried to block out everything else. Every sound. Every movement. And just focus on him. But Octavia's cries were loud and Wilim's constant pacing didn't help.

"Come on, Bell!" I begged, tears streaming down my face along with sweat.

"Clarke," Wilim said soothing from my right, touching my hand lightly.

"NO!" I yelled brushing him of, "No, no, no, no, no..." I pleaded as my hands kept pushing his chest down.

"WAKE UP BELLAMY!!!" I commanded hysterical with a tearful voice. I put my mouth against his once more and blew twice and whispered into his ear "if you die, I die."

That's when I felt it. A slight blow from his mouth, against my ear, and I saw his chest rise along with his breaths.

"He's breathing." Octavia whispered, before I even got the chance to open my mouth. I let out my breath once he opened his eyes slowly. I still sat on top of him, breathing heavily in and out. I dried some of the sweat on my face off with my sweater and looked down at him. He tried to control his breathing and put his hands on his chest in pain.

"I may have broken a rib, or two.." I breathed out guilty as he looked up at me confused.

"Did you get it? The thing in my head? Did you get it out?" He asked, with a pitch of desperate in his voice.

"Yeah, I got it." I said weakly, drained of all power and strength I had left in my body. I got off him and jumped down from the table.

"So what do we do with it?" Gus asked worried. Bellamy began to sit up, gritting his teeth as he did. It probably hurt alot. His broken ribs​ and cut in his back head and the fact that he had been dead just minutes ago. I looked down at hands, which were covered in  blood and we're shaking like crazy.

"Excuse me for a second." I said, quietly. I needed air. I couldn't breath. I couldn't see straight.

"Clarke," Bellamy started, worried about me.

"Just a minute." I said as I raised my hand to signalized that I was okay, and stumbled on. I needed to get out of here. I could hear the others holding Bellamy down and saying things to him like "woahwoahwoah," "calm down, buddy, she'll be back" and "you need to lay back down." I opened the door and was about to walk out when I saw them all standing there, patiently, waiting to find out what was going on the inside. They looked from my bloody hands to my face, which was covered in both tears and sweat. I probably looked how I felt. Like shit. I walked past them without saying anything. I needed to wash my hands so I walked into the water tent, closing the door behind me. I rubbed my hands in the water until they turned sore and pink. Then I sat down, with my face buried in my hands, closing my eyes. Please tell me this was all a nightmare, I told myself.

But it wasn't. And when I opened my eyes, I still found myself drowning in fear and panic, although it was over.

BELLAMY:

They had moved me from the dropship to my tent so I could lay more comfortable on my makeshift bed. I was really tired and had slept alot, but I knew I would be fine. I was more worried about Clarke. She had only came in here once and that was to check my cut and ribs and give me something to eat. She didn't look so good. She had huge, dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a mess. Octavia was on the other hand, always in here. Never taking her eyes off of me. I couldn't blame her. I really freaked her out the other day, when I stopped being alive.

The others had also told me that my name stood on the chip they found in my head., Which meant, whoever did this, knew who we were. We had Monty look at it to maybe figure out exactly what it was. He seemed to believe it was something that wouldn't necessarily blow up, but rather blow out. The tea-bag consisted of two different drugs. One that Monty recognized as a drug that changed you, like a personality switch. "It would most likely turn you into some kind of killing machine or something," he explained. He guessed the other one would make me forget that they were my friends and not my enemies. So when the countdown ended, I would eventually start kill my own people. Kind of brilliant, if you think about it. Why kill the enemy yourself when they can kill each other?

Octavia came in later again that same day. She had some rabbit meat and water along with her. She helped me up in a sitting position and gave me food.

"How's Clarke?" I asked discreet.

"She's alright." She answered.

I looked at her with raised eyebrows, as if saying 'I need more than that, O'.

"Why don't you ask her?" She asked a bit irritated.

"I've tried. She just answered 'fine' when she was in here!"

"Well, maybe she is!"

"Have you been her lately? She's not fine."

"Don't worry, Bell...She  will be. Just give her time." But I heard that even she had a touch of worry in her voice.

A while later, when Octavia left to do her daily job, Jasper snuck into my tent.

"Not to stress you out, but as a leader I think you need to know this!" He said nervously.

"What?!"

"Monty found a tracker in the chip," he whispers. "They didn't want you to kill all of us alone, Bellamy! They just wanted you to start!"