Bittersweet (Louis Tomlinson AU)

~Chapter 1~

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''I never thought i'd be doing this. At sixteen years old to be exact. I never thought that I would have to be sitting here at your grave Mom. I just had to say goodbye.''

 I took a deep breath closing my eyes before opening them again and seeing three graves. My mom my dad and my brother

 'Why did you have to leave me like this. I mean thank god your best friend Jay came all the way from California come get me. She said that you told her if anything happened to you or dad that she would take care of me and jasper. You never told me that.''

 I paused. I played with the hems of my sweater nervously

 'It's just going to be hard. Leaving Seattle. I mean i've never been on an airplane before and I know i dont have many friends here but i've been here since I was born. I just dont want to go. I know you always tell me mom that I was to make some friends but I cant. I'm just to shy and I freak myself out. Everyone is is disgusting.

 I think I'm never going to get over this. I just I know I know if you were here you'd tell me to try to be friendly and that there has to be someone there that's nice, but mom threes not. It's high school and everyone just cares about if your on drugs or have had sex yet.

 I know you always told me to find someone to be able to take care of me and give me the world. But nobody likes a shy super skinny girl like me.

I'm always going to be that, I'm to scared to do anything to. I'm such a sacredly cat.''

I paused trying not to cry

 ''It's just you always knew what to do and even though Jasper was always at hockey practice we still would play around and stuff. I guess I never thought something like this could happen. I never thought how easy it was for someone to die. All it took was one piece of ice for the car to slip on and look at you now.''

 I jumped once I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Jay.

 ''Come on Shaileen, we are going to be late for our flight.''

 ''Okay um give me like a minute.'' I whispered. She nodded and got into the car

 ''This is it. I'm not going to be back for a little while. But I promise you that I will try to do the one thing that you always wanted me to find. Which was love. I'll find it some how. Just remember that I love you.'' I whispered.

''Goodbye.''

I walked away slowly. It was about to start pouring rain. I didn't want to leave but I knew it was better then being in foster care. I didn't exactly want to talk to Jay. I barley even knew her.

But the whole way to the airport she talked about her lovely kids. She explained that she had only one boy out of five kids. I liked hearing her talk about her kids and her life, she just remind me of my mother. I'm glad that she didnt asl me any qestions. I'm in no mood to talk to anyone right now.

''So my son Louis  is very athletic and has such a big heart, he reminds me so much of you.'' She smiled

I wanted to ask her about her kids but I didn't want to come across as nosy or just being kinda of stalker-ish.

I found myself just zoning out again.

I just hope my eightieth birthday comes fast. As soon as I turn eighteen I'm leaving.

All I can even think about is how am I going to survive?

I'm the most shyest person you will ever meet! I can never speak! When I get nervous I count odd numbers in my head all the time. Nobody ever exactly knew that. But I didn't want anyone to know. It was pathetic.

But I need to do what my mother wanted me to do. Meet some friends and people who care about me. Here in Seattle,  I didn't exactly get on much with the girls at my high school. I was very mature for my age and I didn't want to play all of the girls slutty games but anyway

She always told me to 'ask someone a question' or give them a compliment' but that would never work, I don't have the right words.

I know it sounds odd but I prefer number to words.

in math, you always get the same answer no matter how you do the math problem.But with words, blue can be a thousand different shades. Two is always two. I like that.

I looked up at Jay and she smiled down at me. She had a worry look in her eyes. I was nervous for her. She has to take on another child.

''Do you want some lemonade?'' She asked

I nodded my head actually having an appetite for once. She pulled out a can of lemonade from her purse. I didn't ask why or how or even where she got it. I just took a big sip.

You see, to me people are like things you drink. Some are like a pot of black coffee, no cream,no sugar. They make me so nervous I start to tremble and other's calm me down and others calm me down and I might actually have the right words to say.

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Guyssssss!!!!!

I am so upsets with this story already! It's going to be like a roller coaster ride!

Please comment and vote fan me tell your Friends about it.

I know thats alot but it took me almost a year to figure everything out and write it and edit and pick out character's.

I plan out everything in the story! So.... that's why it takes me forever haha!;)

But I love you guys more then anything! You have really made my life change.  I put my feeling and my seat and tears into writing and I know I may not be that great but you guys make me so happy!

I want to Thank @LinaJ_ for my cover! She is the most amazing person ever!! SO that's why the dedication goes to her!;)

So thank you!!!

I love you so much!