Bittersweet (Louis Tomlinson AU)

~Chapter 44~

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I blew out a deep breath as I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to block out the pain radiating in my head and shoulder. Every tiny bumpy we hit was like a sledgehammer to my head and side, no matter how carefully Dan drove. I was leaning forward against the back of Jay's passenger seat. I kept my face buried in my arm to block out my grimace from Louis gaze; there was nothing he could do about it and I didn't want him to feel bad for something he had no control of.

The car hit a divot in the road and I felt the sharp pang vibrate through my shoulder again, forcing air through my clenched teeth. My hand on Louis shoulder next to me, gripped the fabric of his shirt tightly between my fist as I tried to ward off the pain. Dan was not the best driver at all.But I know he was trying to get home quickly since it was almost midnight. The hospital had taken a lot longer then I think anyone planned on being there. I could also tell that the anesthetic was wearing off making the pain come back with full force and my grogginess departing.

Louis and I barley had a chance to talk, the doctor had come back into the room only five minutes with Louis being there and then Jay and the whole family came in. I was so out of it at the time I don't even remember what Louis was saying in those five minutes something about Chris maybe? I had so many questions for him now that I was more awake. I want to hug him kiss him talk to him but I couldn't with everyone constantly being around me. Especially Jay. It was hard lying to her. I wanted to tell her that I was secretly hooking up with her son but I was afraid. I know Jay also had her accusations about what exactly was going on between us and now that I am gripping onto his shoulder for dear life probably didn't look the best but I didn't even care right now. I was in so much pain and I needed some kind of affection between us. I havent been able to hug, touch or kiss him in over two weeks and his touch was much needed right now. He was the only one who could easily keep me calm.

I felt the car slow down and I was so thankful it did. I felt the car finally pull into the driveway. I hardly managed to lift my head from my arms when I heard my door fly open.Blood rushed to my head and I felt slightly light headed as I turned to look to the side to see Louis. His jaw clenched and his eyes darted to the sling that held my arm together. His eyes were filled with concern and sadness. Seeing him so quiet and moody made me feel guilty for getting him into my drama.

''Louis, I'm fine really,'' I spoke trying not to wince in the process. He knew he couldn't say too much with Jay standing right there so he left it at that and helped me out of the car.His hand holding the small of my back while Jay had grabbed my bag and medication following close behind us.

''You're not fine Goldie.'' His deep raspy voice whispered in my ear making my eyes close for a second before opening them. I felt his gaze looking at me waiting to answer but I couldn't. I needed to speak with him alone. When Jay wasn't standing right behind us and when Dan wasn't in front of us carrying sleeping Phoebe and Daisy.

''Louis take Shaileen upstairs, I'll bring you something to eat dear you need to get something in your stomach to take your medicine.'' Jay said firmly unlocking the door. I didn't protest with Jay because I knew she was right. I was starving.

Louis led us to the stairs and we slowly walked up them, taking each step at a time. My head was so clouded and it hurt to think to much, unfortunately that's the concussion part. I was exhausted but needed Louis. I was so mad at him before and right now I was so weak and vulnerable that I only wanted him. He opened the door to my room and helped me onto the bed. I watched him as he went to close the door. Once he did, he waited to turn around to face me. It was almost like he was frozen in spot. He seemed to be so deep into thought but yet had so much to say. I waited until he was ready to say anything. I watched him as his head snapped out of his thoughts and he turned around meeting my eyes. I sat on the edge of my bed while he came over and knelt down in front of me. His eyes locking with mine. I grabbed his hand in mine holding it tightly. waiting for him to speak.