Courage (Lesbian)

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

(Courage)

I woke up and it felt like the room was spinning. I tried sitting up but I went back down. Everything around me seem to be a blur and not too mention I was feeling itchy everywhere. I just laid there and dozed off and when I woke up again the doctor walked in writing something. I told her my head was pounding and she stop writing and looked at me. She told me to use my eyes and follow the pen and then she asked how bad was my headache and where did I feel it. She told me it's either pregnancy or me sobering down from the drugs and alcohol then she went back to writing. I asked about my pregnancy and she explained I'm eight weeks along and told me I have options. I let her know I was keeping the baby then I asked about Jo. Jazzie explained she was working and I asked what's going on with me. She let out a sigh and I told her I promise to stay calm. "You have a serious amount of anal and vaginal tearing. The damage is so bad that when labor comes you will need a cesarean delivery. Your body never healed properly for past injuries so pushing is not an option for you. I'm waiting on another doctor so in a few we will take you upstairs for your sonogram" Jazzie explained. I began to sob and she stopped talking. She told me she will tell me more when I'm ready to hear it. She then told me she would be right back. She came in a few minutes later with another doctor and a wheelchair. She said it's required so I sat down in it and she escorted me to a different room. They helped me on a higher bed. Suddenly I had the urge to throw up. The doctor held the garbage can for me as I puked. After that I felt really hot but my nurse said it will be quick. She then put cold stuff on my stomach and smoothed it around. After a few minutes went by she let out a sigh and turned off the machine. I asked what was wrong and she rolled her chair close to me and grabbed my hands. "There's a heartbeat but barely. Within your past eight weeks you consumed a significant amount of drugs and alcohol that affected your fetus and its heart. Please understand you're not a bad mother and you had no idea so do not blame yourself" she said. I sobbed for a moment and she hugged me tight. She told me everything was going to be alright as I continued sobbing. "Ever since I was a little girl my mom abused me physically and mentally. She started dating women and would beat on them as well. When I went through puberty she told me how pretty I am and did so many things to me. She would make me sleep with different boys so to everyone I look like a fast little girl. The police never believed me when I reported her a year ago and child services never done anything. I kept ending back in her care. When I was a child she made do drugs and drink with her. She forced me to drop out of high school in my senior year and made me marry my ex husband that physically abused and raped me. I became a stripper because she told me she didn't to financially support me at eighteen and I couldn't sit home all day and nothing despite the husband didn't mind taking care of me financially. I decided to come here after one night when my shift was over I headed to my car this man dragged me into an alley and raped me. My husband didn't believe me and he beat me. I tried staying with my best friend Joanna but she's missing. I packed up everything and came here" I explained as I cried. She told me understands what I'm going through and everything was going to get better. With that being said she gave me a long tight hug. She then help me back in the wheelchair and took me back to my room. A few minutes later doctors came to rub lotion all over me and give me medicine. After that I went right to sleep.