Two Sides

Chapter 1 - The Journey

"We're almost there," Jesus assured you. He had been repeating that twice now. Not that you were impatient, on the contrary. Being out here with him was quite a nice distraction.

"Okay," you replied calmly. Frankly, you had no idea where you were going but you trusted Jesus, so there was no need to rush. Although, admittedly, you were a bit tired by now from all the walking.

"I won't tell you too much about this place, I think it's best if you just... you know... take it in for yourself. I think you'll like it but I'm sure the first impression is going to be a bit... special."

"Special?"

"Yea, the community is a bit different... well, you'll see."

You hummed in agreement. It couldn't be worse than what you'd experienced so far and every community where you didn't have to see the faces of the Saviors was good enough for you.

Talking about the Saviors... As you were walking, your mind drifted off to the moment you left your home...

You were sitting in your room in Alexandria, staring at the wall opposite of you. Everything was quiet, almost as if everyone was sleeping but you knew that the peace was a lie. Peace was something you probably wouldn't experience again. Nothing would ever be the same.

Your pulse was going slowly. So slowly that you were wondering if you actually still had a pulse. But you didn't really mind. You felt empty.

Right now, you didn't care about dying, nor fighting. Your brother was dead because some stupid asshole decided to kill him. You had been convinced your whole life that you had time. Time to visit your family. Time to see your friends. Time for yourself. Just... more time. Now your brother was dead and you didn't even have a millisecond left with him. It was unfair, you had been deprived of him almost your whole life and when you found him... you only had a few months. You had to learn the hard way that time was the thing you had least power of.

You had no idea how long you sat there but every second was too much. Alexandria was a prison, you knew that. Now that Negan owned you, it was probably even worse than a prison. It felt strange. The air you were breathing was still the same. The sun you were feeling on your skin was still the same. The ground you were walking on was still the same. But you didn't feel at home anymore.

So you stood up, your knees hurting from sitting too long in an uncomfortable position, and then you gathered a few things that you considered necessary. There was only one place you knew you could go to, so you left your house and headed to the gate.

"(Y/N)," you heard Rick call after you, a few steps later.

With a sigh, you turned around. "What?"

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving."

"But..."

"No buts, Rick."

"I know this hard for you... I get it... but you could get hurt out there and we need you alive."

"You don't need me, not in my current condition. I couldn't help you, on the contrary. In order to keep my sanity, and yours, I need to leave for a while."

He sighed but you knew he'd let you go eventually. "Where are you headed to?"

"The Hilltop. I want to visit Maggie and see... where they buried them... where they buried Abraham." You gulped. "Please, Rick, I will come back at some point, I promise, but right now... Maybe I'll find something that helps us, I'll try."