Two Sides

Chapter 7 - Worry

Ezekiel's P.O.V.

It was bad day. Ezekiel knew it because he had to meet the Saviors and bring them the food his people were working so hard to produce. That's why he had been longing to see you the evening before. You distracted him from the sorrows he had to face, you made everything a lot better since you were here and although Ezekiel was a positive man, he had to admit that it wasn't easy all the time and that it felt good to have someone to talk to, someone who understood.

He wasn't sure if you'd actually been tired yesterday or just wanted to be alone. Maybe you avoided him on purpose, it sure felt like it because no matter how tired you had been all those times before, you had always found some time to spend with him. The odd thing was that he hadn't seen you all day yesterday except for your short conversation, and even today you were nowhere to be seen.

When they drove off to meet the Saviors, his bad conscience came back. He hadn't told you that he knew the Saviors a lot better than you thought... or that the Kingdom had a deal with them. It made him feel bad but he couldn't risk you leaving. He had even told Morgan to keep it secret right after he found out that you knew each other. He had just had a feeling back then.

It felt wrong not be completely open, and it wasn't just selfish to want you to stay... it was also your only chance to find to yourself again. He wouldn't take that from you. No, maybe he'd tell you at some point, but not until he felt you were ready to hear it.

* * *

It was getting worse. Richard hated the Saviors and although Ezekiel could deal with Gavin, the Savior who seemed to be in charge of the little group that picked up their things, some of the others were provocative and aggressive. Ezekiel noticed that Richard had a hard time being calm around them but he trusted him and he needed him there. If this blew up it would blew up big time and he wouldn't risk that. Richard needed to be sensible.

On their way back home, Ezekiel had a bad gut feeling. Being king generally wasn't a burden for him, but days like this one really got to him. He loved his people, he loved the Kingdom. He didn't want anyone to get hurt. Not again.

As the truck rolled through the gate, he let out a sigh. Peace was peace, even a flawed one, and it was better than a war they couldn't win. They somehow had to live with this.

"Jerry, would you please find (Y/N)? I want to talk to her," he told his steward. No matter why you avoided him, he desperately wanted to see you.

"(Y/N)? She went out earlier today," one of the guards said.

"Out?" the king asked incredulously. "Did she inform you where she wanted to go?"

The guard shook his head, an apologetic expression on his face.

Ezekiel took a deep breath in order to stay calm. "How long ago was that?"

"A few hours ago, I think. She had a backpack with her as far as I remember. Looked a bit lost."

A cold fist clenched around his heart. Did you leave for good? He didn't want to believe that. But no matter why you went out there... it was dangerous. And you hadn't returned yet so perhaps you had gotten hurt or even worse. He didn't dare think about it.

"Your Majesty?" Benjamin addressed him. "Maybe we should go looking for her? We'll find her if she got lost, she might need help."

Ezekiel nodded, trying to get back into king mode. "We shall head out right now. I want you to come with me Richard, Morgan, Jerry... and I will get Shiva as well."

* * *

Hours passed and they didn't find you. Ezekiel had hoped that Shiva could find a trail. Granted, she wasn't a dog, but it was worth a try. Until now, there was no hint as to where you might have gone to. He began to worry. No, it wasn't just worry. He was beside himself with fear that something happened to you while he was away. While he was busy dealing with the people who robbed you of your brother.

There was no time to thoroughly contemplate why you left. Still there was a thought lingering in his head. What if it was because of him? He wondered if he had done something wrong by any chance. Had you found out about the Saviors? That he lied to you? He knew you weren't completely back on track and to think that he might have destroyed your progress made him feel miserable. The guilt and worry nearly swallowed him.

He wouldn't forgive himself if something happened to you.

When evening arrived and the sun began to set, the men went back home. They had searched the woods surrounding the Kingdom and every close-by place they could think of. Ezekiel hated to give up, but they just couldn't stay outside for any longer. Shiva was hungry and they needed water. Everyone was tired and they ran out of ideas.

"I'm sure she's alright," Morgan assured him. "She was out there for so long, she knows what she's doing."

Ezekiel nodded towards his friend who obviously knew you longer than he did. With all his might he tried to stay calm, to not let the others notice how much this affected him. He knew he overreacted but he couldn't help it, the thought of never seeing you again, of never telling you how much he had grown to like you, nearly killed him.

Why did you leave? You had been so open with him... you had told him how your brother died when you barely knew each other. Right from the start, there was such a deep trust between the two of you. And just a few days ago you had shown him your weak side, had revealed all of the pain you carried inside.

For him, it had been clear that there was something between the two of you. A silent understanding, maybe even something deeper... deeper feelings. Now he was sure that he was falling for you since the moment he saw you with Shiva. Maybe even since he saw you for the first time.

"Your Majesty?"

Ezekiel was ripped from his thoughts by the call of his guard. He turned around to look at him and in that moment the gate opened. The king needed to take a long, deep breath. He wasn't sure if he was angry, sad or relieved. Most of all, he didn't know what to say or do.

You walked through the gate, your hands gripping the straps of your old backpack while your eyes wandered over the ensemble of people in confusion. Before he could think, Ezekiel made a few steps towards you, the wild mixture of emotions visible in his brown eyes. That's when he noticed the bandage around your wrist.

"Are you hurt?" he blurted out without thinking.

You shook your head and answered in a whisper. "No, just a scratch from a branch."

He had to admit that you looked pretty defeated, a bit sad even. His heart hurt at the sight, especially because he didn't know why. Putting his hands on your shoulders, he scanned you up and down for any additional injuries. Fortunately, you seemed to be healthy and unhurt.

"What's up?" you asked then. "Why's everyone here? Did something happen?"

Ezekiel just shook his head. "I need to talk to you. In private. Follow me, please."

You furrowed your brow and glanced around at the others in search of an explanation but to no avail. Ezekiel was too agitated to realize that you were clearly overwhelmed. Reluctantly, you nodded and he just took you by the hand and walked towards the gardens. Shiva was following close behind, her chain was still in his hand and he only realized that when they arrived. She gracefully laid down on the floor and yawned, not impressed by any of this. In contrast to you. Or him.

Ezekiel knew that it was now or never.