Dear Writer, - The Fooo Conspiracy (Felix Sandman)

27: Seldom Control

-Felix-

"Am I cheating our Foooers?" I ask. Oscar looks out the window away from me.

"I don't know do you feel like you are?"

"Daff would be so mad if I made Flyer and I public, that's the only reason I haven't asked her out yet."

"Well you do what you nee to do."

"That's not very helpful." I moan.

"Just do what feels right bro, I can't tell you who to pick, or what to pick." Oscar picks up an apple and throws it up catching it behind his back, and then biting it so it stays in his mouth. He salutes me away like a sailor and leaves the room so I am alone.

Alone with my thoughts, I sit here, I can hear through the thin walls the screaming Foooers outside so it is impossible to think of anything else.

Behind me I hear the lock of the door click open and close again. I still look down incase it's Flyer, I don't even know what to say to her.

I hear feet make their way across the room up behind me and warm nimble fingers warm around my waist beneath my shirt and kiss my shoulder.

"Hello Felix."

My stomach strains, I know this voice too well.

"Maja?" I turn and see her familiar face.

"How did you get here?!" I stand up and wrap my fingers around her waist. It's been so long since I have seen her, we never even got to say goodbye last time, we never officially broke up.

"I took a train, I heard you were coming to Gothenburg so I caught the soonest one." She returns, her arms close around my shoulders so hard so she is sure not to loose my embrace.

I hold her for a long time, when we were together we spent hours holding each other.

"I can't believe you are here!"

"Well I wanted to go to your first concert but I couldn't make the train."

"No no it's fine this is great, I really missed you."

I stand up from my chair and I remember how small she really is.

"You've grown taller." She moves me around so she gets a better view of me and lifts my shirt to see my stomach. "And stronger, my god! How long has it been?"

"About a year." I say, I also notice her chest has filled out more to fit her body but I choose not to speak about it.

"How is living in Norway?"

"Well, I live in Oslo, the language is fairly easy to learn. People are nice, but not the same as I had in Stockholm."

"I see, I only know how to say one phrase in Norwegian."

"Oh yea? and what's that?"

"Jeg elsker deg." I don't realize until after I say it that she is going to take it seriously.

"You know Felix." She begins walking towards me until I back up into the wall. "It's been a long time since I have seen anyone." I look into her eyes as she takes my hand and rests it upon the bulk of her chest.

"Maja I can't."

"Who's telling you no?" She reaches up to my face and places her lips against mine.

"You can't tell me you don't miss it." She whispers, and I am afraid she is right.

She embraces me like it's natural and for us it is in an odd way, she knows me and isn't afraid of me like Flyer is.

I shut my eyes to suppress her from my memory, thinking if Flyer will just make me feel bad.

I forget and grab Maja throwing her to the wall kissing her lips and moving to her neck. Her moans are music to my ears, something that Flyer never did as I embraced her.

DON'T THINK OF HER! I tell myself.

Maja scratches her nails against my back and takes both my hands placing them on her chest and I hear a door open.

Omar enters and freezes as I let Maja fall to her feet.

"Hello Omar." She smiles wiping her lip, something she learnt to do from me.

He just stands there, I know I am busted now. "...Hello..."

"I'll watch backstage." She walks out giving me a look that sends shivers up my back.

"What exactly did I just see?" Omar asks. I look down embarrassed that I let my emotions get the best of me.

"I don't even want to know, but Felix, You better figure it out."

I feel my skin turn white and swallow hard. "Okay." My voice cracks.

"Showtime." He says, taps the door and leaves.

I wipe my face clean as if I can take all my problems away and head for the stage.