Dear Writer, - The Fooo Conspiracy (Felix Sandman)

34: To the Touch

-Linnea-

"Flyer?" Felix calls me from the bed beneath me. I close my eyes scared for what he is about to ask.

"Yes Felix?"

"Were you serious about what you said today?"

I wait for a moment trying to reflect on all the thing I have said but I cannot think of anything that would have offended him.

"What did I say?"

"You said you wished the tour was over. Did you really mean that?"

I don't know how to respond. I am simply following Katia's instructions I didn't know what to expect.

"Nevermind, you don't have to answer that." My guess is he probably thought I would bring up Maja.

I choose to take this a different direction. I close my eyes and remember what Katia told me in the car. Remember Linnea, he's a boy, you have to keep his hands occupied and his brain thinking.

I know exactly what Katia meant when she said this, I can't just find an old rubix cube to keep him busy. I have to jump out of my comfort zone.

I peer over the edge of the bed, he stares at his feet tugging at his shirt.

"Yes, I did mean it." I say. I think of blurting out all my problems that have stemmed from going on this tour, loosing Felix, loosing my house, not to mention my family as well. But instead I mirror what Katia has told me to do.

"I miss you Felix, before the tour."

"You mean when you only knew me as scribbles on pages you found in the forest?"

My eyes tear, my words I speak are so far from the truth but somehow I say them.

"Yes."

My long hair falls off my back and beside my face nearly reaching his bed.

"I do miss that, but I also miss the night I met you." I continue. "In the garage."

"You can't go back." he mumbles.

"You can only make a first impression once." I say. I drop down from my bed and kneel down on my knees slowly bringing one leg over his body.

"What exactly are you looking for then?" he pulls his arms behind his head, I think he is enjoying this.

"I want to make a new impression." I tilt my head and smile.

"Like, pretend you are meeting me for the first time?"

"Sure, something like that." I pull my hair over to one side of my face so it dangles and brushes over his arm.

My hands take hold of his ribs and I push my lower core into his body. This catches his attention the way Katia was intending me to.

His face smiles but turns serious as he realizes what I'm doing. His hands move away from his head and take hold of my hips as he moves himself in tune with my body pushing me down on him. I think I can feel... it.

We get a momentum going until we hear a knock on the door. I throw myself off of him as Katia enters.

"We are going to watch a movie together if you guys want to come."

She tries to hide a smile I can see because she knows exactly what she just walked into.

"We will be there right away." I hear Felix say.

We both stand to our feet heading for the door.

"Flyer."

"Yea?" I turn and he pulls my arm so I stumble against his side. He holds my face leaning in for a kiss but teases me by guiding my lips around. I am afraid his attempts on me are working better than my attempts on him.

"Let's go." I say pulling away before he finishes. I know I have him now.

We follow into a public room with rows of chairs in front of a small screen. Katia, Daff and the boys have already made themselves comfortable in the front row covered in blankets. Were we supposed to bring some?

"Flyer." Felix stands behind me holding a blanket and we find a seat together behind them.

"Do you know what's playing?" I whisper as we sit.

"It's an old love story I think." the commercials end and a black and white screen begins the show.

"It's all in old Swedish language." I say. I hear the characters speak only being able to understand bits and pieces of what I hear.

Felix throws the blanket over the both of us and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

"Well, the man is explaining to his friend about the pastel skies, how his love for a lady may die at old age, but will eternally be cut out among the stars, and people will smile as they glance to the night forgetting to bow to the sun."

"His words are beautiful." I whisper.

The movie carries on where the couple are separated but meet on the outskirts of their town to share one night together.

Felix and I move closer together until our sides touch. On the large screen the couple move together into a bed, and I feel Felix get the same idea.

I feel his fingers approach my hands guiding the over my body and across his to rest on his stomach.

"Felix I-"

"Shhhhh...."

I feel him guide my loose fingers over the fabric of his pants but I hesitate. This is not quite what I wanted.

Once again I feel his skin, he pushes my hand down underneath the elastic of his shorts. I look to the direction my hand is moving and I see his hands are free above the blanket. All my movements are my own doing not his. I want this.

The movie suddenly finishes and the normal lights return. I retract my hand back to my side being weary of it. It has explored new lengths or was about to. I am not sure I am ready for that.

The time is now late and we return back to our rooms. I know the moment I shut the door what Felix is going to want.

I hear the click of the lock and just as quickly feel his body heat against my back. His shirt falls to the floor from his hand.

Remember what Katia said. I think to myself. His hands take my arm but I quickly move slamming him to his bed. My lips ruin his face, we engulf in each other until I feel he is desperate to take it a step further.

"Good night." I say, I slide myself off of his body.

"Hey, no no no." he pulls my arm to kiss one last time. Of course I cannot resist.

"Seriously, goodnight." My body lifts off him and moves to my own bunk. That was so close to becoming something. Even still, in the back of my head I know I want this, I want this so bad.

But he must prove himself.

"Night Flyer."

"Felix, I have a question." he pauses for what seems like forever.

"Okay."

"Are you concerned that Maja is making deals with Daff?"

"What are you talking about?" he stands up to look at me in my bed.

"Maja is paying Daff money and making deals with him. I don't know what they are about though." I see him thinking as I speak.

"Have you ever seen it?" I ask.

"Yes, this morning at breakfast." he says, the room may be dark but I know the corners of his lips twitch.

I nod my head. "Goodnight Felix." I turn in my bed and pretend to sleep. If Katia was here, she would be proud of me.