Control » l.h

Chapter Nineteen

Luke didn't look up the entire way to the attic. He kept his head down and his eyes squeezed shut, yet he managed to get up the stairs perfectly fine. When we reached the attic, I gave him a small push in before I shut the door. I turned to face him as he stood a few feet away, still looking at the ground with his eyes shut.

"Luke," I said in almost a whisper. "Are you alright?"

"I- I can't remember anything." he mumbled, shaking his head.

"Nothing?" I pressed, taking a step forward and reaching out to him. I thought better and put my hand back at my side.

He finally looked up at me. His blue eyes were back to normal. "Ashton yelled at me about you and then...you kissed me. Why did you kiss me?"

Thinking about the kiss made my lips tingle. It felt amazing to feel his mouth on mine despite my mixed feelings for him. I brought my fingertips to my lips. "Did you not want me to?"

Luke's confused expression turned to one of surprise. "No, no! I mean, I- Never mind."

Luke turned and walked towards the other side of the room. I slowly walked after him, not sure what to do - not even sure how I felt about him still. As much as I enjoyed the kiss, I didn't know if I even trusted Luke again. He did defend me against one of his best friends, so that had to count for something.

"Its like what happened to Calum," Luke mused, turning back to face me. He locked eyes with mine. "You got...frantic when Calum lost his memory. And you got upset again when I lost mine. There's got to be a connection there, right?"

"Luke," I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "Luke, I don't have powers, okay? Its honestly just some coincidence or something."

"It can't be; there has to be more to it." he insisted.

"Luke, stop!" I yelled. "Everyone already thinks I'm crazy enough, I don't need to add taking away people's memories to it."

"You're not crazy, though," he told me soothingly. He walked the space between us and rubbed my arm again, causing the familiar goosebumps to form wherever he made contact with my skin. "I know you're not crazy. And I know there's something else special about you. There's got to be a reason you're connected to me - a reason you can control me."

"Its not just because you love me?" I quizzed. I realized what I had said and wanted to take the words back.

Luke was taken back by what I said. He dropped his hand and just stared at me. "I never said that. Well, I've never said it out loud. I was going to say it before when things were going good between us, but then- wait. How would you even know that?"

I shrugged. "I just know it."

The fact that Luke loved me just popped in my brain. It was like he told me without actually saying anything. I never thought about if he loved me or not before, but I figured maybe it was just my brain going wild again.

"I will admit I've thought it," he nodded, staring off behind me. He started going off on a little tangent in his own world. "I thought that maybe I did. I really cared about you and after we warmed up to each other, I thought you were a sweet girl - very smart and brave and just all-around great. The only time I ever knew I was sure was the kiss, so I don't know how you'd know that..."

"Is it such a big deal?" I groaned.

"Kiss me." Luke blurted, his blue eyes staring into mine.

"W-what?" I asked. I was surprised at his demand to say the least.

"Jemma, please kiss me," he said softer this time, cupping my chin with one hand and putting the other on my waist. "I just want to see something."