Control » l.h

Chapter Twenty-One

No one addressed what had happened with Officer Wigg for three days but I actually wanted to talk about it. I felt completely unremorseful about what I'd done and I didn't know why. I thought I'd be a mess about the whole thing. Every time I tried to ask about it, though, they'd just cut me off and tell me to forget about it. But the whole thing kept playing in my head - how angry I was with him for not listening and for insulting the only people that ever did. My anger was just building up so much that I couldn't handle it and I just killed him. That must be how it feels to be Luke.

There was also the fact I had dreamed of what happened from Wigg's point of view. I hadn't told Luke what I'd dreamed the night I killed Wigg and I still hadn't told anyone about my most recent dream. They wouldn't let me say anything that had to do with him. If they thought they were helping me or protecting me, they were wrong. All they were doing was frustrating me.

I sat on the counter in the kitchen, away from the knives, watching as Michael and Calum attempted to make dinner. Luke was in the basement with Ashton, still cleaning up after getting rid of Wigg's body. They had to make sure there was zero traces he'd ever been there just in case.

I hadn't seen Ashton since that night. I didn't know if he was purposely avoiding me or if it was coincidence. I didn't know why he'd still be mad at me considering I saved his ass from being strangled by Luke. I assumed that they had worked everything out between each other but I was still curious as to what Ashton's feelings were towards me.

"You have to wait for the water to boil first." Michael sighed, taking the open box of spaghetti from Calum's hands.

"I don't think it makes a difference." Calum said, although it sounded more like a question.

I laughed and slid off the counter. "Do you want me to help?"

The morning after everything, I apologized to both Michael and Calum - mostly Calum - and fixed things with them. They said they completely understood why I freaked out but were glad I no longer thought they were psycho killers.

Calum turned to look at me. "You know how to make spaghetti?"

I giggled. "It's basically the easiest thing to make besides cereal and sandwiches."

I squeezed past them to reach the knobs on the stove. I turned the burner the pot of water was set on on high before tossing a pinch of salt in. I took the box of pasta from Michael's hands and set it on the counter before walking out of the kitchen.

"Call me when it boils!" I called over my shoulder.

"I told you." I heard Michael brag to Calum before I left.

I decided that now would be the perfect time to try and talk to Ashton. He was around Luke so he wouldn't act like a complete asshole and he also wouldn't be able to leave. I went behind the stairs and opened the basement door. I could see the faint glow of the lights from the death chamber - I continued to call it that for lack of a better name - and began descending the stairs as quietly as possible. I rounded the corner and saw Ashton and Luke scrubbing at every surface with some odorless chemical.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked.

Luke looked over at me; Ashton jumped at the sound of my voice. Luke laughed loudly at Ashton before setting the cloth down and walking over to me.

"Nothing," he shrugged, bending down to kiss my forehead. "Just cleaning some more. What are you doing down here? Thought you were making sure Calum and Mikey don't burn the house down. You do know this is the last place we have, right?"

"They'll call me back up after the water's done boiling," I assured him. "Um...could I talk to Ashton?"

Ashton glanced up at the sound of ihs name, scowling slightly since I was the one who said it. Luke turned to look at him but Ashton had put his head back down, acting like he hadn't heard me or just didn't care.

"Alone?" Luke asked.

I have him a look like he was a third grader that had just barely gotten the answer right to a math question. "Yes and no."

He laughed lightly at my answer. "I'll be on the other side of the basement, then. Maybe I'll try and organize the boxes."

Luke walked around the corner, leaving me in the death chamber with Ashton. He acted like I wasn't there, continuing to scrub things that were already cleaned off.

"Face it, you're done cleaning," I told him, cautiously walking toward him. I knew he wouldn't do anything with Luke just around the corner but I was still nervous about talking to him. "You'll have to talk to me eventually."

"Jemma," he sighed, finally setting the cloth down. He continued to stare at one of the stainless steel counters, though, instead of looking at me. "It's not that I don't want to talk to you. ...Actually, that's exactly it."

"But why?" I pressed. "If it's because of my attitude, I want to apologize for it."

"I don't know what it is," he growled, running his hands through his hair. "Maybe it's the fact that you accused us of killing you after I found you passed out on the side of the road at three in the morning and let you live in my house. Or maybe it's because you almost got my best friend to strangle me. I know Luke can get out of control but he's never tried to kill one of us before."

"Ashton, I'm trying to say I'm sorry." I cut in.

He let out a sharp laugh as he locked his eyes on me. When he spoke, he kept his voice low enough so Luke couldn't hear. "You think sorry can fix this? Sorry won't make up for the fact Luke will always choose you over us because he's stuck on this idea you can magically control him just because of some stupid crush he has on you. Sorry won't compensate for losing my best friend. He's become so different since you. We don't even know why he chose you either, and I find it fucking dumb that he just decided to stalk you or something. You want to make everything better? Then get lost."

He stormed passed me and went up the stairs. I didn't realize that Ashton hated me so much. I thought he was just upset with the whole Luke situation but he was apparently upset with my entire existence. He always seemed okay with me staying with him, but the way he talked made it seem like he didn't like me since Luke first saw me.

"Hey," Luke's voice was in my ear as his arms wound around my waist. "How'd it go?"

I couldn't tell Luke about what happened between Ashton and I. He's just get upset again and I'd make everything worse.

"Fine," I lied smoothly. The second part was mostly true. "We solved everything."

"Great," I could hear the smile in his voice as he kissed my cheek. "Things can go back to they way they were."

I nodded. "Yeah. They will."