Snag Reads Her Old Fanfiction

Chapter 7- Defender

Embersoar let out a fearsome screech as she colided with the bully half-lynx Thornstar.
You wrote your will right

Thornstar was so surprised, Embersoar felt him collapse under her claws. Embersoar didn't waste a second. She pinned him to the ground and swiftly sunk her teeth into his throat.
How is this possible
How are you still alive

Embersoar felt Thornstar give a mighty lurch under her, twisting his neck in a desperate attempt to escape Embersoar's firm death grip.
He's so much bigger than her how is this now working

Embersoar sunk her teeth in deeper, tasting the revolting metallic tang of blood hit her tongue.
Better get used to that

Suddenly, something slammed into her side, releasing her grip on Thornstar.

Finchspots.
I stg Finch

That stupid mouse-brained she-cat!
For once we share an opinion

"What were you doing to our leader?!" Finchspots screeched into Embersoar's ear, her sharp claws digging into Embersoar's shoulders.
Take a wild guess

"Thornstar?" Finchspots growled to a sputtering half lynx. "May I kill her? Please? I- I mean, If you want me to!"
Actually please do

Thornstar got to his paws, his throat stained with dark red blood.

"I would let you kill her," he panted, still shocked from Embersoar's sneak attack. "But, she has a lot of stealth, and almost killed me. Me. Thornstar, leader of Lavapride."
How many cats here are full of themselves??

Embersoar snorted.
Cocky half-lynx.
"What I'm saying is that we should keep her."
Awww

"Aww, Thornstar!" Finchspots whined, her claws digging painfully further into Embersoar's fur. "Uh, i mean... great idea! heh..."
I'm beginning to hate Finch with a passion, but she is kind of a good addition to the plot

"Release her!"

"Umm right away, Thornstar! heh heh..."

Embersoar half shoved Finchspots off of her as she struggled to get up. Now that was wounded pride.
Now okay
So you nearly take out a behemoth cat lynx with maybe a couple weeks of training but you can't fight a smaller cat who has little focus?

Thornstar glared at Embersoar as she sat down on her haunches and began to groom the sticky dark warm blood from her fur.
That's a lot of description for blood.

"Maybe later, kitty," Thornstar growled threateningly, a scowl creasing his face. "You will understand our rules and our order here."
"Kitty." Huh so who took who's phrase?

Embersoar ignored him.
Same

What was really nagging at her was when he said...

Me. Thornstar, leader of Lavapride!

Lavapride?

Wasn't this Skypride?
Yes! She's getting it!

They must've been corrupted for so long, that they had grown used to the name.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

What was also biting at her was the way that Dragonclaw had just stared at her as she risked her life for his honor.
Yep haha

Didn't he care?
Probs just embarrassed

Didn't he like her?
I like him.
No. You. Don't.
I'm not one to talk but I don't think this is how love works