Replace Your Heart // Michael Clifford fanfic

Day Eight.

“It’s one of those nights spent craving someone to get tangled up with, fully clothed. I want to just lie there, legs twisted together and talk for three hours that will feel like ten minutes. It’s one of those nights lusting over the idea of having a person. A person that will answer whenever I call because it might be an emergency, or I might just be saying I love him and either reason is compelling enough to pick up the phone. It’s one of those nights spent desiring the comfort that comes after the awkward first dates and kisses and feeling like you’re twelve again asking your friend to ask his friend if he is interested. Longing for the time when hands find each other easily and laugh at that first time when you left your palm face up and open and you both held your breath as he grabbed your hand. It’s one of those nights when I want to skip the flirting and the electricity and the excitement of the newness and get to the best friends and the quiet comfort and the sureness" I read out loud, sitting on Alyssa's bed, reading one of the things she wrote.

"This is so cool," I said as I looked her in the eyes.

"Cool?" She laughed, "its kind of sad,"

"Its amazing, though. But why did you write this?" I asked.

"I was just feeling really really lonely," she sighed.

"Why that?" I asked again, crawling next to her, "is the door locked?" I asked.

"I don't know, I wrote this before I met Kiara, like I was in 8th grade, 4 years back, I wasn't the talkative type, you know? I was like...a loner?" She said hinting sadness in her voice, "yes, it's locked, why?"

"You were a loner?" I looked at her strangely, "Okay, I can sit close to you now," I chuckled.

"Yeah, why are you giving that strange look? You're so stupid," she cuckled too giving me a soft peck on my lips.

"I can't believe it, I mean, how? You make friends so easily, you have so many friends..." I trailed off, looking at her face, wanting more of her lips than the simple peck.

"That's now. Its not like I did not have friends, I just didn't know what to talk or how to talk. I was very reserved, you know? There were so many people who wanted to be my friend, and they were really popular and I never understood why me," she replied as she sat down next to me.

"Why not you?" I rethorically asked.

"I did not speak anything more than replies to teachers’ questions in school. It wasn't because I don’t have anything to say, it’s because no one is listening," She completed.

"Alyssa," I sighed, "I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad you're out of it,"

"Yeah, me too. Though I don't think I've really come out of it," she said lowly.

"You're still upset?" I asked.

"No, not upset. I'm just really insecure, not exactly insecure but I'm kind of scared, scared of time might do to people," She said.

"What do you mean?" I questioned as I open my arms letting her fall into them as I rubbed her back showing a sign of affection.

"I don't know, I mean.." she trailed off uncomfortably, "You know, all the people I thought were made for me, are not. All the people I thought I’d always keep in touch with, we fell out. All the things that used to hurt, hurt less. And its not a bad thing, its good. Its good sometimes but time also distance people, and I'm scared of losing people in my life. It's obvious that you won't really be close to people later in life to whom you are right now,"

"That's right, that's right. But you know, its not a bad thing. Time does that, it changes things but the world is ever changing. Things change, and its always for the better. Its okay if you won't be close to someone as much as you are right now, because you will be close to others. Close to someone else, tomorrow. You won't ever be alone, nobody is." I replied.