Replace Your Heart // Michael Clifford fanfic

Day Eight.

I was awake, sitting straight on Alyssa's bed, not really knowing if I should wake her up or just watch her sleep. I sure did love watching her sleep, but I remembered what happened few hours back, the kind of conversation we had. I had never really open up about myself. I wasn't really sure what she would think about me since she knows my weakness, my strength and some of my insecurities. There was one thing, My mouth could never speak words as beautiful as her. I was afraid she would mistake my closed lips for a closed door. I wanted to tell her I stayed up writing about her the night I slept in my room, I had never written so crazily about someone. There was something about her, I wasn't sure what, it was either her grace, or her words, or her welcoming attitude - how she made me feel so easy, so comfortable to be around her. She was just like me, yet so different. She knew her colours and she knew how to paint them, or how she helped me paint my colours along with her, a different shade everyday, how she accepted me with so much simplicity. I had so much to tell her how I really feel. Not because words fail me, but because I've failed words. I don't know enough to tell her, I don't know anything. I don't think she makes me feel happy or sad, simple words cannot describe my emotions, my thoughts for her. But I can't exactly tell her, I can't exactly tell her what I want from her, I was so close to telling her, to ask her out, to plan things out with her, to tell her that what I want is something real and something that wouldn't end the day I leave India, but I was afraid she would think I’m insane. Nothing I could say could compare to the stars in her eyes. So I said nothing at all. 

I felt her moving, hinting that she's now awake, I rubbed sleep out of my eyes and smiled, faked a smile at her. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, "what time is it?" she asked me, tiredness in her voice.

"10 AM," I replied as she sat beside me.

"What were you thinking?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

"Nothing," I avoided being honest, something I had been doing a lot, "I'm gonna shower and then we can help your cousins with the wedding set up?" I asked her.

"Okay..." She trailed off, "We don't really have to do anything now, because everything is already done, we can just sit and talk?" She smiled.

"Yeah, we'll see," I mumbled.

"Is there something wrong? Did I say something rude?" She asked.

"No, no," I smiled, "I'm just really bored.." I lied.

"We can help others with the set up," She assured, "Sorry that you're bored,"

"Its just.. I don't want to sit in a room and talk all day, you know?" I bit my lower lip.

"Yes, I understand. It's boring," She chuckled, "go take a shower,"

"I'll see you then," I got cupped face and kissed her forehead.

"I'll see you," She replied.

***

I took a shower and changed into sweatpants and a tank t-shirt because we didn't have to go anywhere and I wouldn't like to wear jeans when I'm just at home - I mean Alyssa's house. I entered her room without knocking because the door was open and I saw her sitting on her bed with her head buried in her knees.

"Alyssa?" I called out as I locked the door.

"What?" she snapped at me.

"You okay?" I asked her as I walked towards her bed.

"Yeah. I'm fucking fantastic," she sarcastically laughed.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"Who's Kristy?" she rudely questioned.