Look at Me One More Time

Our Wedding

As promised, Elisabetta and I had a short meeting just before lunch. We got to talk over a nice cup of cappuccino and a brioche at a caffetteria very close to Il Duomo.

I was surprised to find a good looking lady, younger than her actual age and her expression was so cheerful. I thought her Desigual purse was very attractive too.

She was shocked to see how I dressed up that day.

"Is this okay to show up in front of them?" I asked as I awkwardly tried to fix the headscarf I was wearing.

"Oh, you don't even have to try so hard," she was laughing for a bit, and stopped to comfort me. "Just be yourself."

I felt it was easy to talk to her about anything. I told her the stories of Ben when he first landed in Malaysia and that my mom fed him white rice with sambal belacan, which is spicy sauce made with shrimp paste. Ben just couldn't stop eating and it became his favorite food.

"And he loves those individually packed sweet buns with spicy anchovies inside," I added while laughing. "I wish I was there to see that."

Elisabetta smiled. "It would have been nice to live in Malaysia sometimes, right?"

"Hmm.. can I ask?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"Do you ever dream of going back to live there and see your sisters and brothers?"

"Of course! But I have my own family now.. I have kids. They were born here. They're Italians. And they have a better future here. More freedom. There's no labels on them at all."

"Such a shame," I said, sounding frustrated. "Malaysia is supposed to be unique."

"It still is, in a way," Elisabetta smiled. "There's good, there's bad in every country. You close one eye and live with it, like it or not. Think of your loved ones."

I had to agree with that one. As I walked into the Malaysian Consulate of Milan, I gained more confidence. Although Elisabetta didn't come along with me, things seemed more hopeful.

The consular officer was a lady in her 30s. She broke into laughter when I told her the story that happened in the embassy in Portugal.

"That's insane!" She laughed so hard that she had to remove her glasses to wipe the tears from her eyes. "Look, nobody should care about who's marrying who. It's so typical of them to get personal and pry others."

I grinned. "I just thought I should be more careful this time."

"You did well," she smiled. "All I need now is your dad to ask the Islamic office in Malaysia, to write a letter to verify your single status."

"Oh, a what now?"

"That you're single. You're marrying someone abroad, the Europeans should know that you're not already married somewhere else."

"Oh that makes sense. Ok, and then?"

"Do that first, and then give me a call."

I sent a WhatsApp message to my dad. He did a few calls to the people he knew and apparently only a father is allowed to ask for such document.

In Islam, a girl cannot marry unless she has the permission from her father.

It went smooth. He just walked in there, asked a few questions, and gave a few documents, and voila! I had my letter in no time.

"I love you," my dad said. "I'm sorry that I can't do so much. All the best."

And with that, he delivered the letter using the fastest courier which reached Milan in 2 day. The consular officer didn't take long to call me back.

"Ask your fiancé to take some days off and come here," she said. "You have to be married here."

I felt like I was floating. When I broke the news to Ben, his face turned red in disbelief. He thought I was lying.

"This is it," I said. "Whether it's happening or not, you have to be present. I wish we have more time, but.."

"I'm going to get us a pair of wedding bands," he said. "With our names on them."

"Okay but, I need you like right now."

"So, no bands?"

"We'll think of that later. Just come to Milan."

I had so many things in my mind. There was a mixed feelings of suspense, super excited and not wanting to be so optimistic about it. I sent a message to Elisabetta but she did not respond.

In fact, I didn't receive any replies from her until Ben came and we had another meeting with the consular officer, deciding what to do next.

Technically, Malaysia has no rights to know whether a foreigner is a Muslim or not based on a document such as an ID, especially if religion is not a required detail for the country. Ben just had to recite a few verses and he could be already a Muslim since born, and nobody should even care.

"You have 10 days to prepare everything before the date you pick for your wedding," said the consular officer. "But make sure it's not a public holiday."

We had to do everything by ourselves, all in a rush. Designing, crafting and booking our wedding bands took more than 2 weeks and to make it quick, we bought a pair of stainless steel rings just for temporary use while waiting for the real ones.

I couldn't choose what to wear as I had only jeans and my usual skirts. Ben bought a cheap suit for himself, after all, he looks good in anything. He, in the end, found a decent long white dress, with purple flowers patterns on its lower side, that he thought should be okay for the occasion.

I felt like I was going to a funeral, but the people at the City Hall were very understanding. They decorated the place with white ribbons and flowers. And then they handed me a bouquet of white and yellow roses for me to hold while exchanging vows.

Had tears in my eyes the whole time. It went so fast that at some point, I didn't know what I was doing and suddenly, I became Ben's wife.

I wanted to keep the bouquet of roses I was holding. Through a video call, my mother-in-law told me that I should hang it upside down, so it would last longer. Ben's family just couldn't wait to meet us in Porto if we could find time to drive back there.

My parents and brothers were overjoyed, although they knew we wouldn't be living in Malaysia anymore. Our wedding were kept secret for a while from our relatives just to avoid them from gossiping.