Look at Me One More Time

Break Me

Today, the day we were supposed to know the gender of the child I'm carrying.

I've never asked Ben whether he wants it to be a surprise, but I definitely prefer having plenty of time to craft a good name for them.

And as the gynaecologist spread the cold, clear blue gel around my belly, I got all nervous. I looked at Ben and he looked back at me.

"Are you both ready to know?" She asked after inspecting the outcome from the screen.

"Yes, please," are the words that came out from my husband's mouth, giving me all the relief in the world considering I wouldn't have to keep a secret from him in case I'd found out first.

It was told; a baby girl. Couldn't find the right terms to describe the look on Ben's face but I believe mine was the same. And through all that, he held tight my hand.

"We're gonna have a baby you," he whispered, twice.

"She may also look like you," I said. "So, baby you."

"No, baby us," he replied, and I had to agree.

If it's a baby us, she will be the most beautiful creature we've made together.

And I couldn't wait to start making a list of wonderful baby girl names that I could think of and those I found from browsing online.

They don't have to be so common, but don't have to be too hard to spell out. Nothing too fancy yet they must be one of a kind.

I'll definitely keep the names that won't lead our baby girl into going through some rough stereotypes, like how the Muslims in Malaysia putting Arabic names at the beginning to label their kids automatically as Muslims while growing up.

"Any classical Malaysian names?" Ben suggested, as his fingers were busy typing keywords for baby gears on Amazon and eBay.

Thoughts started running wild across my mind, but most of them are just the names of Malay celebrities from the 60s. If I recall correctly, Malaysian Malays in the past were fond of the natural surroundings of where the baby was born, hence naming the kid with the first flower she saw as she opened her eyes to see the world. If it was an orchid, Orkid she would be.

It's not a bad idea, but we still must choose carefully because what's a flower there can be something else with an opposite meaning over here.

And suddenly Ben's white arm surrounded my neck as he gently nibbled my ear from behind.

My breath stopped when I felt his hand cupping my breast.

"You know I'm always horny now, right?" I placed my hand on his.

"Yup."

"And you can't keep up."

"Don't care."

I turned around to kiss him.

I do, at times, feel like I'm a fat cow. But if Ben keeps coming at me like this, it becomes hard for me to resist myself from throwing my fat cow body on him.

Although he looks like he doesn't mind at all whatever size I'm in, because it's still me and he just wants me.

Or maybe he gets aroused easily looking at my enlarging breasts even though a girl's ass is more preferable to him.

Didn't take long for him to penetrate his way in through the opening of my vagina that was ready for him.

He powerfully lifted my ass up with his hands as I laid there on the bed, and began fucking me.

With his dick curved that way, every time he pushed deep, my clit felt like it was going to burst out some pee but it didn't.

I screamed each time yet I tried hard to keep it down.

"I want this to last at least 30 minutes," he said.

Are you mad? I thought, even though I knew I didn't want him to stop either.

His dick kept rubbing against my bladder, lower and deeper, all together. My womb felt like it was going to break.

He pulled out once and my juices exploded like they were being pumped out. He looked at them in satisfaction and continued fucking me more.

I wanted to go on top of him so bad although I knew I couldn't with this weight.

Maybe I could? Not so sure, don't want to risk.

But the best feeling when we're fucking is when his cock gets larger, throbs and shoots semen inside of me. The indescribable look on his face that tells me he knows he did a good job so he can rest now.

He mumbled stuff in Portuguese as his body shook while coming inside of me. My legs trembled in pleasure, happy to receive it all.

"And that would have been more and more babies," he said, while laying next to me.

"Yeah the babies you just wasted," I said.

There was a roar of laughter coming from his side. If this baby happened while we were being careful, I'm pretty sure there's like 120% to conceive when we are actually trying.

I don't really care. Maybe it's just sex talk but one thing for sure, if it's going to be another baby, it better be coming from Ben.

Later at night, he came home with dinner from outside for he knows it's no longer easy for me to do stuff around the house anymore in this condition.

Plus, all the writing works I need to catch up to before I go on maternity leave. Luckily the baby inside is keeping me warm when I need to stay up a little bit late at night to finish the things I started.

At least Ben doesn't feel bothered if I don't show up in bed at the same time with him, for after all, we're both preparing ourselves for the baby.