Conflicted | Harvey Mills

1; un

I hate Harvey Mills, I want to, and I have every right to, but sometimes I can't. So I find myself falling for him all over again, and digging up long forgotten memories of when we were together. But then I remember the pain he caused me and it goes back to stage one, the cycle repeating itself over and over again.

The reason I hate him is because he broke up with me for more popular and pretty girls, girls who aren't me. Maybe it was my fault he broke up with me, maybe my home problems were burdening him too much, but I like to think that it was his fault because it's so much easier to hate someone than to accept the fact that they don't love you anymore.

But the reason I can't hate him is because he never meant to hurt me. He thought that I really was fine when he broke up with me, but the thing is, when girls say they're fine, they actually mean the exact opposite.

I then began to realise that I still love Harvey deep down, and start reminiscing on the days that we were still together. I remember that day he turned up at my house soaking wet because of the rain just to be there for me because my parents were fighting, how sweet he actually was, his twinkling brown eyes, his laugh...

"Lily!" My best friend Harper whispered, nudging me.

I was staring at Harvey again.

"What?" I asked, snapping out of my daydream.

She rolled her eyes and said, "I know you were staring at Harvey. Honestly, you need to get over him- it's been weeks".

"I know and I'm trying! It's just taking a bit longer than I expected..." I mumbled.

"I thought you hated him".

"Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. It's more confusing than you think Harper".

"You need to see more people Lily. Get out more often. Me and the girls are going shopping on the weekend... Why don't you come too? It'll be fun".

"Maybe", I shrugged.

I looked​ over at Harvey and his friends who were laughing uncontrollably at some stupid joke. He looked so happy and bright that it made me jealous of how carefree his life was compared to mine. I decided to stop thinking about him and to just get on with life, meet some new boys.

My eyes suddenly met with Harvey's who seemed to have finally sensed my burning stare. He rolled his eyes at me and turned back to his friends, his happiness slightly subsided.

Am I that irritating?  Did I ruin your perfect day?

You've changed a lot Harvey.

Yaaay new fanfic
I'm so excited to be finally publishing this jakdkdkfks sorry I had a spasm on the keyboard
I've already got like 100 chapters pre-written so be expecting regular updates

Annnywaaaays have nice day or night :)

~C