The Art of Detachment (Book 1)

10:00 AM, Unused Classroom, Saturday, Int.

Do I look pretty?

The camera loves you, Maine.

I know. Tell me when you're rolling.

Rolling.

So.. questions?

Why?

Why what?

Why did you suddenly decide to move on from me and what we had?

Suddenly? Anong suddenly du'n?

You were chasing me. You were asking for second chances again and again.. tapos biglang wala na.

Kasi... I love you. I loved you too much. You were my everything. Kung I made you feel ignored at some times, I am sorry for that, I hope na valid 'yung sorry ko ngayon or if not, sorry pa rin.

Okay. Valid siguro.

Akala ko kasi nung una, I could walk away from you slowly like... kakausapin pa rin kita pero sasanayin ko na 'yung sarili ko na hindi na katulad ng dati. Because you sounded different din, sa texts mo. Sa short calls na dati, hindi pa tayo natutulog para sa isa't-isa. Alam mo 'yun.. akala ko kaya kong sanayin 'yung sarili ko na friends lang tayo because I really love you and I'd do everything and I'd accept anything just to stay close to you.

'Yung kahit friends lang, sige na nga, tatanggapin ko, basta malapit lang ako sa'yo. Ang lokaret, 'no?

You weren't crazy. You were in love.

That's pretty much the same thing.

Sabagay. For your information, you made me crazy for you, too.

But not as crazy as I am for you.

Nagtitimbangan ba tayo?

I don't know. Maybe I walked away and stopped asking for us to happen again kasi feeling ko unfair. Unfair na ikaw 'yung nakipag-break sa'kin, kasi ako... never ko naisip 'yun. It's never my house. It's never my stairs. It's never my dog. It's never just... me.

It has always been 'us' for me. Tayo. I can't imagine a Maine without an Alden.

But I've seen a Maine without an Alden.

Then you've seen me wrong.

Don't invalidate my feelings.

E 'di wag mo ring iinvalidate 'yun akin. Ang sakit, parang gago. Parang gusto kong gumising na joke lang lahat. I felt like you left me, Alden. Nope, not felt like, because you really did.

It's because you walked away first.

It's all in your head.

Nope. My heart says the same thing.

Did you know what my heart said, nu'ng mga panahong 'yun?

What did it say?

'Di ko rin alam, eh.

What?

It wasn't with me that time. It was with you. And it took me a long, long time to get it back.

Na sa'yo na ulit?

Oo.

Paano?

Anong paano?

Paano makuha ulit? 'Di ko alam kung nasaan 'yung sa'kin, eh.

Baka hawak ko pa?

Baka nga.

//

to be continued