Holding Everything

Chapter 28: Wipe Your Tears

Inside the room the Head lay in a large bed, lifted so that he can sit up, medical electronics surrounding him as if he were in a hospital room now, the heart monitor beeping in the background; Eren stands at the foot of the bed, while Rika at the side gripping his hand tightly; he looks at us as we enter and smiles.

"My kids made good friends, to not run away after witnessing what it is you saw, which is surprising, being the Head of such an organization, I should be quite accustomed to such a violent display, yet because of how I tried to run things, change things, I rarely allowed myself to personally see to any killing. But you both stayed...you stayed for my...children." He begins to wheeze, trying to catch his breath more and more. Rika's eyes begin tearing up and Lillya comforts her from behind, placing her hands on her shoulders and trying to keep her own tears under control. I walk up to Eren's side, letting it be clear that I'm here for him when it happens, when I approach I notice his tense posture relaxes alittle and he breathes easy, as if my appearance calmed him a little.

"We would never leave them." I say with a soft smile, Eren looks at me and the tears straining to fall finally do, he inhales deeply and composes himself, we look back at the head and he's simply smiling as if he wasn't dying.

"Kids..." his face softens and I can tell its close, his breath has become short and heavy and he speaks slowly, "only do...what makes you...happy" he rests his head on the pillow, closing his eyes to rest, "...only live...the way you want..." he draws his last breath, "take all my love...and build...your own...future..." his head softly falls to the side and the endless sound from his heart monitor is shut off by a nearby doctor.

The room suddenly feels empty and dark, as if nothing no longer exists inside, Rika's sobbing fills the room even with her face buried in his blankets next to him, she refuses to release his hand, Lillya's tears fall as she stays quiet, silently comforting her as best she can. Eren has yet to move, he only stares at his father's still figure lying lifeless on the bed, expressionless. Moments pass, and no one has moved from their positions; I look up at Eren, whose tears continue to fall despite his frozen stance, I slowly move my hand, extending it to him gently, taking his hand in mine and holding it firmly; as if insisting with mere body language that he let it all out, even if only to me.

At first he doesn't even squeeze back, I'm only holding his hand; a moment passes and I speak softly, almost whispering it just to him, "I'll protect you, Eren...you're not just my Handler, you're my friend, and our bond is even stronger than that," his hand twitches a bit, I can tell I've caught his attention even if only a little, "so treat me like your friend...and cry."

I'm suddenly pulled to my knees by the force of Eren yanking me down, he collapses to his knees as well and covers his face with his free hand, while his other squeezes mine with great strength, his lips are parted and his teeth are gritted together, the visible parts of his face have turned red and his back is hunched over, he flings himself sideways and buries his face in my chest, squeezing my shirt and pressing it to his faces. He inhales suddenly, taking in a massive amount of air into his lungs, and finally explodes; his screams cause Rika and Lillya to jump a bit, and the surrounding nurses and doctor look over , then quietly exit the room. The more he yells the louder he gets, with each new scream he shakes his head into my shirt even more, soaking the fabric with tears and snot. After his screaming calms to a pitiful whining sob, my hands which were simply rubbing his back, pull him up a little and wrap around his head, as if to shut us off into our own world. His shoulders continue to quiver; when he finally calms down enough to catch his breath, he sits up and looks me in the eyes, his eyes are red and swollen along with the rest of his face.

I take a dry part of my shirt and wipe his face alittle, he stares at me while I do so; not breaking his gaze he takes my hands in his, and locks eyes with me; an expression I've never seen is showing on his face.

"Eren, whats wrong?" I ask, knowing this expression is caused by the loss of his father, the gaze he's giving me almost gives the idea of longing and begging; he tilts his head and rests it into the palm of one of my hands.

"I shall always protect my Handler, I'll always be by your side Kou."

His seemingly romantic words cause my cheeks to feel hot and burn with embarrassment, he chuckles softly and nestles his head onto my lap, curling his body so that he's like a child wanting to nap on his mother's lap.

"I've never felt more at ease than I do now, my father just passed away, and although I'm sad and heartbroken over this loss, I feel like I can smile knowing I'm not left to deal with this alone with Rika. My dad, he was right, I have such great friends," soft tears fall from his eyes, he sits back up and holds himself up with his arms while he sits with his face close to mine, "although that sounded like a love confession, I truly mean that I'll always be by your side and that I wish to protect you at all costs."

I smile a bit and when he lies back down with his head on my lap, I stroke his hair, "well I'm glad it's a mutual thing, I want to protect all of you, you've all had to experience some terrible things lately, I want to be your support, just like you guys are mine."

"Thank you, Kou, Lillya...I don't think my brother and I could've gotten through this without your support," our world is interrupted by Rika, who has stood and came over to my side with Lillya hugging her from behind, "in our world, the only support we ever truly had was our father, everyone else hated us in some way or another, with him gone, we both feared of what would become of the other once he died; but we somehow managed to get through the hardest part of it all with the both of you simply being here." Lillya and I exchange looks and blush alittle, Rika extends her hands to Eren and I and we both get up, "unfortunately, we are not yet out of the woods."

"What do you mean?" I ask, wondering what else there is now that they have the Last Decree.

"Not all of the Sawyer House alliances showed up today, so it's more than possible not all of the traitors have come out, and with news of this mass murder going around, I'm more than certain something dangerous is bound to happen; not only that, Kou said he saw a Grey Path amongst the crowd, in our knowledge, such a thing doesn't exist,"

"That means we know nothing about it," interrupts Eren.

"Except for one thing, out of the four of us, only our Natural Handler can see it." Rika points at me and the reality of it all sinks in, "shit, she's right, we're nowhere near in the clear, there's a possible war heading our way and an unknown new Path has risen from who knows where."

"Then what we need to do right now is get to safety so we can properly think out a plan and a course of action." Eren says as he gets serious all of a sudden.

"Where are we gonna go where your sources can't easily find us?" Lillya says, we all get quiet realizing getting somewhere safe is easier said than done in this situation.

"I know a place," I say after a moment, I look at Eren and the rest, "What about the Limbo place, Crate thingy..." they exchange looks and after a bit of shrugging and deciding, they agree that's our best bet right now, "the only thing is we have to get home, the book is there and it's the only way we can get in through it."