Holding Everything

Chapter 12: Plan to Love Me

My body falls to the ground; my spine tenses up and my entire body cramps all over in excruciating pain. I try to scream out but my voice is no longer mine to control, the tears streaming down my face only make it worse. I feel myself being lifted and everything is black, I hear nothing and see nothing, the only thing I can feel is pain and anger. My vision begins to clear and the pain subsides, I can hear again and I'm no longer crying. I pant as I try to make sense of what just happened, a bright light is right in front of me, I lift my arm to shield my eyes, 'clunk' my hand stops, inches from my face and I realize I too, am in a capsule like Eren and Rika. "I was visible?! What the hell I thought they couldn't see me!" I start panicking and then a figure blocks the blinding light, "Merila!" She grins down at me and caresses the glass.

"I must teach you a lesson." She says, my eyes widen and she presses a button and a fiery wave of pain courses through my body and then it vanishes. My vision clears and the glass opens, I sit up and I'm knocked back a bit by a weight against me, I rub my eyes and squint, it's Rika.

"It took you a long time to wake up, Hehe! Hope you got enough rest!" Her voice is a bit squeaky, as if she's trying to sound smaller and cute.

"R-Rika? What happened? When did you-?" She presses her index finger to my lips and smiles.

"Yadda-yadda, let's go for a walk! I have this really pretty area in the garden I wanna show you, and then tea time after that!" she yanks my hand in a hurry and before I know it we're in the middle of the garden, I look around at the massive ocean of flowers, trees and bushes surrounding us.

"So what did you wanna show me-" I'm cut off by a sudden kiss, Rika's lips softly press against mine and she wraps her arms around my neck, not knowing where to grab or touch I try to back away, but she has a tight grip. She notices my resistance and breaks the kiss, but keeping a small distance between us still.

"Don't worry, I made sure to schedule this in between guard switching and after all the gardeners finished their duties, we're all alone for the next 15 minutes." Her gaze is suddenly filled with lust as she grabs a handful of my hair and kisses me harder than before. I panic as I suddenly feel her tongue try to make its way into my mouth and I push her away, covering my blushing face. I stare in bewilderment at her, wondering what has gotten into her and why she's doing this.

Her expression turns sad, tears welding in her eyes at what I can only assume was my rejection just now, I gulp; "What do I do?!" I think to myself, trying to some way make sense of what is going on. "There was absolutely no development to something like this!"

"Eren, why?"

My breath catches in my throat, "Eren?!" I think to myself, bewildered at everything going on. I look at Rika once more and see the blatant sadness in her eyes, she's barely trying to hold back tears, but it's obvious she doesn't know what to make of my rejection. I let out a long sigh and decide to see if I really am Eren at the glorious fountain waters reflection, I lean over the edge; pale skin, blonde hair and a handsome face to go with it, "so I really am Eren, damnet." I mutter under my breath.

"What's wrong, Eren? Why...did you push me away?" her voice is beginning to crack and her tiny body is beginning to shake, she presses her face softly into my back as we stand near the fountain.

"I, uh," I realize that simply telling her that I'm not Eren wouldn't be smart, and telling her that as siblings, we shouldn't be doing this, doesn't seem like it would get through to her, so I decide the safest route is to lie for now, "I thought I heard someone coming, the guards may be taking their jobs more seriously since its nighttime or something, just thought it would be dangerous to get caught."