Holding Everything

Chapter 35: Break Him

Kou

The silence that surrounds me feels painful; not physically, but mentally; it's maddening to the point that I can't even hear the sound of my own breathing, yet I can feel my own heart beating in my chest and my lungs filling with air. I open my eyes to nothing, complete darkness all around; I place my hand in front of my face, but I see nothing. I can tell I'm floating, as if I'm in space with no gravity pulling me down because I'm not lying down nor am I standing, I'm just there, like a speck of dust in a wide open room; I can't even tell if I'm moving around inside this space. I try and keep calm, restraining myself from worrying so I can gather my thoughts and figure out what might be going on; I let out a muted sigh and suck in a deep breath while closing my eyes.

"AAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

My eyes fly open and I look all around, seeing nothing but darkness still. My eyes are wide and trying to see anything, but still nothing; I can feel myself panicking, my heart rate is rising, thumping louder and harder inside my chest; my body quivering, slowly shaking more with each passing second.

I begin to hear a soft shuffling in my ear, as if something far away is moving around. I turn my head every which way, trying to locate the source of the sound. My bottom lip begins to quiver and I can feel tears building in my eyes, this is terrifying.

The sound grows louder, slowly rising in volume; I can make out the sound as something similar to rubbing a dry cotton ball against your ear. I rub my eyes in an attempt to see anything I might be missing; I can feel the vibrations in my throat and chest as I whimper pathetically, but silently.

"H-help me...please...somebody...help me...I'm so scared..." I know I'm begging for help, but not even a low whisper can be heard from me, my mouth moves normally but nothing happens. I feel the hot tears flowing down my cheeks as I rub my ears, trying to suppress the sounds that grow closer and closer. I sob even more; my body is trembling in fear as the sound has grown so loud it hurts.

Another wave of sounds begins to ring through my ears, overlapping the unknown static is the sound of numerous voices, all different pitches and languages. I can't fully comprehend what these voices are saying, but each voice is angrily screaming, spitting venom into each word they speak.

"You're nothing!! Now get out you useless piece of shit!! I shoulda killed you as an infant!!"

"You bastard!! Give me my money NOW!!"

"Back talk again and I'll fuck you in front of your own kid you hear!! And then guess who's gonna get fucked right after you?!"

"Don't you dare back talk me! No food for 5 days; and no water for 2 and a half!"

"I should just kick this chair right now and fucking kill you shouldn't I?!?!"

The static sounds grow louder alongside the raging screams, endlessly invading my ears, so loud I can barely concentrate on the vibrations from my throat as I cry even harder. Snot, tears and spit leak from my face as I cry but all I can manage is to tightly grip my hair and pull.

"Nooo-aaahhhh!! S-stoooooooooop..." without even hearing my voice I know it would sound pitiful. Sweat builds on my face and collecting all over my body, I bring my knees up and curl myself into a fetal position, all I can do is cry out like a hungry infant in the middle of the night. It feels like the voices keep multiplying, millions of them overlapping one another, I can't even understand a single word at this point, they all mesh together yet their anger and hatred are so clear to hear.

My body shakes and I feel warmth grow suddenly and all I'm able to do is whine pathetically, for my throbbing head won't allow me to cry out loud any longer.