Holding Everything

Chapter 39: Reconstruction

'So much blood...there's-there's so much blood!!' "BLOOD!!" I sit straight up, fast; so fast a wave of dizziness overcomes me despite lying on a bed. I'm sweating, moisture all over my face, neck and chest; my heart is beating rapidly. "A-a nightmare, thank god I...I thought I really fought-"

"You did," Rika, sitting behind the bed in a chair, interrupts me as I mumble to myself, "we did, we fought Arbror," her words are monotone, she stares at the ground but sees nothing, "we lost; Terribly."

"W-What happened?! I don't-I don't remember anything! How did we-?! What did we-?! I just-we-Eren he-w-w-g-v." The tears begin to flow down my cheeks and I lose control of my breathing, my chest hurts immensely and I have a raging headache. I squeeze my eyes shut, gripping the sheets tightly as I try to calm myself down, but I can't. I slightly readjust my sitting and press the back of my head against the wall; it's cold and hard, like concrete. My clench my shaking hands, trying to make them calm down; I rub my face from the forehead down, wiping the sweat from my face and smearing it. After a few moments of silence I look around the room.

It's a dimly lit room, four concrete walls and ceiling, one entrance at the other side of the room from where I lie on the bed, though no light can be seen from its opening, as if it leads to nothing. It's slightly cool, but humid as well, so my sweat slowly dries, making my skin feel fairly tight. I shift my gaze to Rika, a blank expression still showing, she doesn't seem to care that I've sat up and regained my calm, but in the state she's in it seems as though something happened.

"Where are the others?" I ask, pulling my legs to the edge of the bed and feeling the cold floor, it sends a sudden chill up my spine; making me wonder how Rika isn't bothered by it since she's sitting perfectly still with her feet completely on the ground.

"They'll be back soon, I wasn't as badly injured, all I needed was some bandages for a small gash in the knee, nothing serious but," she pauses, I can see her jaw muscle tighten as if not wanting to continue the rest of her sentence.

"How long do they think it'll take, and where are we?"

'I feel uncomfortable,' I think to myself, 'she's acting weird, distant, the hell did I do during that fight to piss her off so much? Last time I pissed her off she just slapped me, but now it's like she's barely acknowledging my existence! Oh man, WHAT DID I DO?!' My lip is slightly quivering and my eyes are darting all over the empty room, trying to desperately distract myself from my paranoid thoughts. She sighs heavily and I turn my gaze to her and watch her closely yet cautiously rise from the chair and walk to the dark, mysterious entrance to this desolate room.

"Let's just go see them." Her dress is torn up and dirty all over, slightly falling off one shoulder and nearly all the ruffles have been torn off; though I say nothing about it.

I follow behind at a few feet distance down the dark hallway, nothing lights it up the entire way yet there's enough brightness that allows me to see Rika without straining my eyes. We walk hastily down the hall for what feels like ten minutes before stopping suddenly; she turns to her right and faces a wall, 'her feet must be sore since she's barefoot, but she doesn't look like she's in any pain.' I stare at her dirty feet while we wait in front of the wall, dried mud circle the sides at the bottom of her foot, dirt is built up beneath her toenails, 'When did she take her shoes off anyway?' I begin to wonder, my train of thought is interrupted by the wall opening in a similar manner as it does at the Core, a large hole suddenly appearing.

She walks in first, I follow closely behind her looking around the room; 'more concrete, completely different from that healing place in the Core,' I think to myself, feeling uncomfortable again. In the middle of the room is a large stone slab, like a bed for cavemen, Rika walks over to it and turns toward me and says,