No matter how much you wish for it to go one way, it can go the complete opposite. That's what happened to me and my ex- best friend... I guess that's what happens when your friendship, or whatever it is, is hidden from everyone. That was one thing I hated about our relationship, the fact that I had to act like he wasn't my best friend, when he was my closest one. Then there was the fact that we were somehow more than just best friends… Christian and I didn't have a normal relationship; we hide our friendship from everyone we knew and loved. We pretended me didn't know each other when he came around my house and sat in the living room with my twin brother. Elliott doesn’t have a clue how close Christian and I are, if he knew, he'd probably never let us near each other. I hated lying to my brother, but I didn't want to stop my friendship with Christian. He was too important to me. It’s hard trying to stay away from someone that is so important - really hard.
Knowing that Christian was in the room next door with my brother right now was hard. I wanted nothing more than to go talk to him, hug him and watch a crappy movie, but I couldn't. Another thing that makes all of this harder is that his bedroom is arcos from mine. I can look out my window and see into his room. Our houses are so close that we can travel through our windows to get into each other's house. Without even meaning to, I would spot him through the window. We would make eye contact and my heart would tug in longing to talk to him. It’s happened so many times that it’s impossible to count.
With a sigh, I pushed away from my window seat and walked out my bedroom, intent on getting some snacks from the kitchen before Glee started. I'm almost at the stairs when someone bumps into me and I pray it’s not Christian.
"Whoa, sorry," a smooth voice said from behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut and kept my back to him. Christian... Why? Why did I have to bump into him of all people?
"Ellie?" He said my name softly, almost as soft as his touch as he placed his hand on my arm.
"What?" I ask not facing him or letting him see how hurt I am.
"Ellie," he sighed and squeezed my arm before letting go.
"Chris, what's taking you so long?" my brother, Elliott asked. "Oh, hey, El."
"Hey Elliott." I smile softly at my twin.
"You okay?" he asked, nudging Christian over and frowning down at me.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
He nodded then nudged Christian forward. "Come on, hurry up. I want to get some food before going back to our game." I head downstairs and to the kitchen. The sooner I get back to my room the better.
I look around for Elliott but his head is stuffed in the fridge. "Move."
"No," he said, narrowing his eyes. "We need to talk, Ellie."
"No we don’t."
"Yes," he said, stepping closer. "We do."
I shake my head. "No."
I looked up at him in surprise when he growled. "This isn't over," he muttered, stepping to the side just as my brother looked over at us. When my brother turns away, I bump into Christian, hard and walk away. Once in the safety of my room, I took in a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut. Why was it so hard? I put my snacks on my bed and turn the TV on. A small smile spread across my face as Glee came on the screen. "Finally." I say to myself. A distraction!
Once Glee is finished, I turn my TV off and roll off my bed. The one song they sang, Pretending, describes my life more than I could bear. Normally I put all of the Glee songs on my iPod, but that one I would just end up skipping it.
I go downstairs and walk towards the living room, where I can see my mum and dad sitting on the sofa, watching TV. "Why are you watching Glee? It just ended a few minutes ago," I say. My mum looked up at me and smiled. "I wanted your father to hear this song," she tells me before looking back at the screen. "Just think, that could be you one day, El."
"Mum, I'm not that good. Besides, I don't want to be a singer, you know that. I just do it for fun."
"Ellie, honey, you're amazing!"
"Thanks, mum. Do you think you can change the channel and check the weather for me?" She nodded and tells me. I walked upstairs shortly after that. If only I could tell her why I hated hearing that song so much.
