Denmark x Reader
Warning: Mentions of self-harming, and other sensitive topics. Please read with caution.
______________________________
'I take these pills to make me thin
I dye my hair, and cut my skin
I try everything, to make them see me
But all they see, is someone that's not me'
You took the pill and told yourself in your head that this'll make you thin. You took it and then went to weigh yourself. Upon doing this, you passed your bedroom mirror which showed your reflection. In your eyes your reflection was fat, too fat and your clothes didn't fit.
You sighed and went to the bathroom and took out the colourant for your hair. You dyed your hair (Colour). The razor on the side looked so inviting so you took it and rested it to your skin watching as your skin pooled with blood after the blade sliced the skin.
The next day at school no one noticed the changes. You tried everything to make them see who you really are. Your eyes burned with unshed tears. They couldn't see you, the real you. The one who loved to laugh like a hyena, sit in sweatpants all day and watch horror films because you hated the sappy romance ones. They couldn't see you.
'Even when I'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to look my best
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible'
It felt like you was walking on a wire of expectations. No one notices it, no one cares. You looked at the flame coming from one of the Bunsen burners in the science lab. You were entranced by how effortless it looked. 'Maybe if I set myself on fire, they'd see me.' you mused in your head. Your reasoning told you otherwise. 'Nothing would happen. No one would notice you.' it muttered.
You felt so invisible to everyone. Even as you sat there listening and doing everything you could for the grade it was nothing. No one noticed. You tried to look your best that day. Skinny jeans, long sleeved undershirt with a red and black checked flannel and your best boots. Nothing. Inside of your head was a mess. Nothing seemed to go straight. You were screaming inside. Screaming for them to notice how much of a mess you were. But alas you were invisible.
'Here inside, my quiet hell
You cannot hear, my cries for help
I try everything, to make them see me
But every one, sees what I can't be'
You sat in front of the mirror at home just staring into space. In your head was a quiet hell. You could hear the whispers all around as they told you what everyone thought of you. One that kept popping up was that you were invisible. Everyone saw you as the perfect girl. The girl who's a model. The big shot but that's what you can't be. You couldn't be that. You couldn't be a model even if you tried.
You could cry out for help all you wanted but nobody would hear a single thing. Nothing would come out no matter how loud you tried to get it out. Nothing was heard. You try everything to make them see who you are not who you can't be. But it's no use. They see someone who you can't live up to.
'Even when I'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to look my best
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible'
You were walking on this thin wire that could snap at any given moment but if you yourself on fire no one would see a thing. You were always left invisible. Even if you tried to style your hair and put on stylish clothes, it could only conceal the mess inside. The constant screaming for someone to save you. You had an online boyfriend that would try and make you feel better. His name was KingAwesome25. You'd chat for hours but you still felt invisible. It was like you were a ghost. You were there but no one could see a thing.
'Sometimes when I'm alone
I pretend that I'm a queen
It's almost believable'
"Bow down to me peasant." you said in a posh voice to your boyfriend. When you were alone you'd pretend that you were a queen. All high in the ranks where everyone knew you. Everyone saw you. "Of course my lady." responded your boyfriend. It was through Skype even if he couldn't see you. That's when your smile faded. It was almost believable that you were a queen but it's not so. "You okay over there?" asked your boyfriend.
"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. I have some trigonometry to finish off so I have to go." you responded hanging up.
'Even when I'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to look my best
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible'
You sat in the middle of the football field as it got dark. Letter in hand for your big brother to find and in the other hand was a bottle of pills. You'd do this but you were scared and shaking. That's when you felt it again. The same feeling you got when you felt like walking on this wire everyone called life. Ideas of you setting yourself on fire to make people take notice swam through your head. Every damn day you try to look your best to outshine your flaws.
Your a mess inside and your the only one that knows that. You've seen your boyfriend when he's called you and he's seen you. He'll just get over it and get another girlfriend. Who'd want a shell of someone who couldn't be what they were supposed to? Not him. That's why your invisible or so you thing.
Anger boils up in your body. "WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL INVISIBLE?!" You shouted out into the air. Just as you were about to take the pills someone wrapped their arms around you. "Please don't." said the voice you love. You broke down into sobs clutching onto his shirt. Once you calmed down, you looked up at your boyfriend. Mathias Køhler, the loveable Danish goofball. One of the transfer students at your school.
He kissed you there and then. "Min elskede." he breathed against your lips as he parted. He looked into your eyes and you said one single word to sum everything up. "Invisible."
He said three little words that changed your outlook completely.
"Not to me."
