Suicidal

T W O

(The whole book will be in Ethan's P.O.V)

I cant get enough of the outside. Ive spent years in prison with barely any light and i forgot to explore. I take the headphones and get out of the house and in my car. The moon lights a darkness and fills the silence with beauty. I had a billion things on my mind and it has disappeared.

Im driving to nowhere in particular. Im driving around the city and relaxing.  
I know i'm running from my responsibilities but its fun to pretend to be okay, its fun to pretend that you have no worries and issues. Pretty lies.

I hesitate to press play.
'I was the reason behind his death. I was the reason behind his death. I am a murderer. I should be sent back to prison is all I'm thinking. My finger shivers like it has been in a cold weather.

I press play.
"Greetings, again. Lets start and recall some memories from high school. *sighs* Joshua Brandon, also known as the captain in the football team. He was known as a bully to me.

My eyes widen. I heard the name before a couple years ago but i cant recall.

Josh, you humiliated me in front of everybody every single day. I was always a shy person. Anti-social. Quiet. And you took my silence for granted. Pushed me to walls and punched and kicked me endlessly.
But i was still quiet. I didn't fight back.

Where the fuck was i when all this happened? I ask myself.

You kept and kept on doing it. But im not weak for not fighting back, i waited for karma to do its job. I will never forget college. Josh continued to bully me in college, oh! I forgot to mention! Josh was accepted in college because his father is rich. Am i right Joshua? But money cant buy you happiness, friends or love.

On the last day of school, you beat me up in the middle of the field. Infront of each and every student in college. I was desperate for help. I just wanted anyone to help me. Anyone!.. Too much to ask for? I  waited for ?

I grip on the steering wheel and hold my anger as long as i can. Because i might as well explode any. Minute.

I was a fool. I waited for karma to pay him back but everybody and karma stood there watching me suffer,  dissolve and burn. It felt like a broken ribcage. Nobody sees your pain but it hurts every time you breathe.

Dear people who are on the tapes,
You all know Joshua. You all witnessed the whole thing. Where were you when i was between life and death? Where were you when i needed you? Why didnt you do something?

It gets worse.
Wanna proceed?

I pull over. I put my forehead on the steering wheel as i park aside. Where was i? I ask myself. Im an idiot. Im an idiot I'm an idiot. I tell myself as i bang my forehead on the steering wheel. My madness over myself is beyond descriptive.

*KNOCK KNOCK*
A loud knock banged on my car's window. I felt my heart stop for a second as i jump from horror. I open the window. Its wilson.

"Suprise, Dear" said wilson

"I almost shit my pants! What are you doing? Go to sleep or somethin" i reply

"How can i possibly sleep at a time like this, young man?" Asked wilson

"Whats that?" Wilson asks as he looks at the tapes and headphones.

I quickly try to hide them. "Uhh its- umm nothing." I reply.

Wilson laughs lightly and smirks. "Keep listening to those tapes, young man. Keep listening." Wilson tells me.

I drive away and head home since its late. But wait... How did wilson know about the tapes? How did he know?
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I hope you liked this chapter.
Thanks for reading
-Alaa❤️