Suicidal

T H R E E

7:30 am.
Weekend.
I wake up to my fingertips freezing.
The whole room is cold. Looked to the right and found the white thick snow outside. I cant feel my feet from the coldness. I grab my jacket. Tapes. And head outside. New day. New start. New tape. New pain.

I walk to a high area where kids slide down the hill on snow. The wind is howling, i can feel the freezing white thick snow hit my face. Kids still play when it is chaotic. I have reached the hill. I sit.
I stare and look around.
I want to be left alone in public.

I grab the tapes.
My heart aches when i remember i'm one of the reasons why.
I press play.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Greetings, again. I know you're wondering if this is your tape. I know i'm building tension and suspense.

He's right.

If your name is Amanda Rosewood then, yes. This is your tape.

Thank god.

I won't lie, Amanda you're pretty. Light blonde hair, Pale skin, colorful eyes.
Beauty grows in her. But everybody knew Amanda doesn't really care much about education. Maybe because she's dating Joshua Brandon and is one of those rich popular people in college.

Amanda, you probably don't know me.
I'll introduce myself. Hello! Im Grayson Dolan. And i am that-
Wait...
I said 'i am.'
I suppose to say 'i was' because i died.
Hahaha.

I don't know if I'm scared or confused.
The thought of him dead breaks my skeleton into billion pieces.

But yes, i was that guy that sat at the back that you called "weird ass nerd" .
Remember me now?
You were at risk of failing. You asked me if i can help you. I was more than happy to help.

I thought i was.
You came to my house.
"Ewww what the fuck is this?"
You asked about 100 times. Everything looked disgusting to you.
You made fun of me, my house, my clothes.

My eyes widen. My veins are obvious now. My eyebrows furrow.

Honestly, i don't know if i should be the one apologizing to you because i don't live in a huge fancy house like you. Or you should be the one apologizing to me because of your hurtful words.

Ouch.

"Wait let me snapchat this!" You said
"Please don't you came here so i can help you not so you can humiliate me." I replied.

I grabbed your phone from your hands when you were in front of the stairs. You fell off.
I did not mean to push you and i swear i didn't mean to harm you.

I called the ambulance.
I couldn't stand there watch you cry in pain. I was trying to help.

But.
But you told everybody in college that i attacked you on purpose. That i wanted to hurt you. Great. People hated me now even more... Oh! I forgot to mention that spencer, my wife, was bullied by Amanda and Amanda's friends.

I was hated.
Everybody hated me in college.
I was bullied by more and more people.

I place my hand on my forehead and i'm sure kids are wondering why i look concerned.

I swear i kept telling them that Amanda was lying and that it was an accident. But nobody believed me.

Ofcourse  they won't believe me.
Why would they believe a weird nerd that doesn't have friends like me?

And Ofcourse they believed Amanda.
"Why would a pretty angel like Amanda be lying?" They thought

But it gets worse.
Wanna proceed?
-
Where was i when all this happened?

WHERE ON EARTH WAS I WHEN MY ONLY BROTHER  HAD BEEN CRYING FOR HELP?!

My mood is a mixture of madness, sadness, sorrow and pain.

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Hey guys.
Sorry for the late update but i hope you like it.
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Tysm for reading!
ily
-Alaa❤️