Suicidal

E L E V E N

She doesn't talk to me.
The silent of the car ride always sends me a shiver, silence allows my thoughts to enter my brain and along the quiet sound, you can't hear anything except the war in my head.
We're driving back home, and I'm secretly thankful because I were to stay another minute... I wouldn't be able to stop my tears.

The moon shimmers it's light, the sky spreads its stars all over the sky, sending light to this dull world. The wind is howling, strong and powerful. My fingertips are numb.

"Tell me, did they put out the Christmas lights?" Spencer finally speaks and breaks the silence. I tilt my head to the right to find the lights glimmering, the neighborhood is designed with decorations of Christmas.

I sigh. "Yes" I respond. She smiles, a kind of smile I haven't seen for such a long time
"Please open the sunroof" she says, the window placed at the top of the car opens, she manages to stand through the sunroof , her arms are spread, she which concerns me because it's dangerous and she can fall at any second but it doesn't seem like she minds.

She takes a deep breathe, her lungs fill with oxygen again, she stands like she has met freedom finally, the powerful wind blows her hair. I haven't seen this side of Spencer for a very long time ; the happy Spencer.

"Get in, you're going to catch a cold" I tell her.
She moves back inside. I reach her house first, I stop the car and face her. "Spencer, Why'd you stand through the sunroof ?" I ask.

"It makes me feel alive" she responds. I open the door for her and help her get inside her house, as I was going to go back to the car she says "Grant" . I turn around and face her. "Merry early Christmas" she says. I nod slowly. "Thanks, you too" I reply.

I drive back home, my sorrowful and tired face changes to a happy one when I entered my house and found my family laughing as they decorate the Christmas tree.

Their joy warms my heart and causes hope to flow in my body, their laughter surrounds the atmosphere. "Dad!" Nathan exclaims and runs towards me, I hug him tightly. "I left the star downstairs, I'll go get it"

"You'll ruin their happiness just like how you ruin everybody else's" my the thoughts echo in my head.

I look at Aaron and he's standing in-front of me at a distance, we just look at each other silently for a whole minute, I don't know why but the room's sound volume decreases and becomes less noisy.

Aaron's P.O.V
I look at my father, his eyes are focused on mine, he doesn't blink.
His eyes tell a sad  hidden story, he's filled with shame, i felt sympathy towards him I knew that what was going on in the shallow of his eyes. we were basically communicating through eye contact, our eyes tell things that we can't say, unable to say, and our eyes never lie. I realize just now that my father has been misunderstood, he wasn't a prisoner

He is a prisoner.
He's still locked up in a zone where he's unable to break free and have freedom, I don't know what it is but it's definitely a prison.