Grenade {{DIVERGENT}}

XXIII

Beatrice Prior (Tris)

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I slump against the wall next to the toilet, breathing heavily. This is the third time in the space of four days that I have experienced nausea again.

I'm scared. First me getting sick, and now I'm throwing up. I don't know what is up with me.

But then my blood runs cold and I freeze.

I count on my fingers, and I realise that I am late. By four days. I shake my head. No, it's impossible, I've been late before and I have been taking my birth control pills. I shake my head. But the thought constantly lingers at the back of my mind.

What if I'm pregnant?

And then I burst into tears.

+++

I distract myself constantly for the next few days with chores and work. I try so hard to ignore the fact that I have continued with the throwing up, and on top of that, I have been getting headaches more often.

I haven't seen Tobias that much in the last few days because he's been caught up with quite a bit of work and business meetings. That helps, as I am definitely not ready to speak to him if there's any chance that I am...

I scold myself at the thought. But then I start thinking, imagining.

If I am pregnant, who will the baby look like? Even though he expressed his thoughts on having children quite clearly, I cannot see myself having children with anyone else, strangely enough.

Will it be a boy? A girl? Will he/she inherit my eyes or their fathers eyes? My hair color or his?

And I know that I am young, but I would not mind if I was. I have always dreamt of having a family of my own. Ever since I lost mine, I've wanted my own family, a husband, children. And maybe it is a little soon but I don't care. I want this baby. I sigh; I do not even know if I am actually pregnant and I'm already making plans. It's not long before I realise that silent tears have been making it's way down my cheeks and I am clutching my stomach.

I jump when I feel arms wrap around my waist and I immediately wipe the tears away and feel him place kisses on my neck.

"Neonata," He sighs into my neck. I lean back into his touch and sigh.

"Are you okay?" I move out of his arms.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I move away from him, and move to walk out of the room.

"You don't look fine," he states.

I glare at him and he glares right back at me. "just drop it," I snap.

"What is with you?"

"Fine! You wanna know? I'll tell you! These past few days all I can think about, is when you said you hated children and that you will never have kids, ever! You never once asked me what I want. And I know I'm young, But what happens if there's an accident or we slip up, and I fall preg-"

I can see the color draining from his face.

"Are you?" he cuts me off.

"What?"

"Are you pregnant?"

"I cannot believe you! Here I am, pouring my heart out to you and all you care about is whether or not you have to worry about raising a child with me! Am I really that horrible?"

"Just answer the damn question!"

I wipe the angry tears away, and whisper. "Even if I was, why would you care? Oh, wait, you won't."

And I walk away.

_

"Hana," i whisper, pulling her aside in the garden. "Do you have a pregnancy test?"
"Oh, baby." She looks at me sadly. "Yeah, I should. I'll put it in your underwear drawer."
She touches my arm and I inhale as Four walks past.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"Nothing," I say.
He pulls me in from behind, embracing me in a hug. "I love you, darling, no matter your results."
"What?" I say quickly, turning to stare at him.
"I said I'd like to speak with you before dinner," he raises an eyebrow.
I nod, pecking his cheek so i don't look suspicious.

__

I stare at the stick, and the little plus sign.

I'm pregnant.

I'm fucking pregnant.

I set the stick down. I go outside, grab Marlene, and yank her away.
"I think I'm pregnant, Marlene." I say softly.
Her eyes get wide. "Oh, Tris..."
"What do I do?" I whisper. "I'm... He'll kill me!"
"He won't kill you," she says. But even she looks scared. She mutters something.
"God, I'm gonna die." I say softly. "He'll kick me out, he'll have me killed-"
"Shut up," she says. "He's a good man."

"He's a grenade."

________________________

HEY MY LOVES I'M SORRY T AND I DECIDED TO TAKE A TWO WEEK BREAK FOR PERSONAL TIME BUT WE ARE BACK AND IN FULL SWING

SORRY FOR THE TORTURE

NOT REALLY, I LOVE IT

KNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE?

LOVE U

ALIYAH