I love you... - a Hidekane fanfic

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Kaneki's POV

I sit up in bed. alone. Hide had to wake up early for an exam.

ugh... I groan as memories of yesterday run through my mind. I don't want to face school again. but....my lessons aren't so bad. I like them quite a bit, actually.  and Eric is only in my class last period. if I just stay away from him...I should be fine. I pull on a shirt and some jeans and head to my class.

(time skip - last period - PE)

I run to the changing rooms and chuck my bag down. I begin getting changed. crap, if the teacher finds out I was late again I'm in trouble. but, to my surprise, people started crowding in. oh thank god. I'm early. i finished changing and head outside.

"Okay!" my gym teacher yells. "I want you to practice your tennis skills! you guys did really well last lesson, so you can play singles in pairs today!"

A couple of girls squealed and ran to their friends. i sighed. i would've gone to Hide in a heartbeat, but he's not in my PE class.

"ah ah ah. I'm going to partner you up." He said, causing everyone around me to groan dramatically. He paired up everyone, leaving me alone. someone wasn't here.

"Kaneki...umm, you can go with-" he was cut off.

"Teach! sorry I was late man, I lost my PE kit." I gasped. I knew that voice.

"That's 'coach' to you mister. you've been late a lot, so you owe me 5 minutes at lunch." the gym coach scoulded him.

I prayed inside my head.

please. please let someone else arrive. please let something happen, just don't partner me with him...please...

"Eric. you partner with Kaneki."

I felt sweat run down my forehead. crap.

"why should I work with that fag?! tsk!" I heard him mutter under his breath. he walked over to me. I strained to look away from him and prayed that this was just a nightmare.

it wasn't. we walked over to the tennis courts. We started playing. it wasn't as bad as I thought. besides Eric deliberately hitting the ball out side the school many times (on purpose) and the awkwardness, the hour passed without event.

"okay. you guys did well today!" our gym coach said walking over to us. he tutted at the balls scattered around the floor, and pointed at me and Eric.

"You. pick these up. i'll leave the changing rooms unlocked. be quick okay?" he said, walking off.

leaving me alone.

With Eric.

as soon as our coach turned the corner Eric grabbed me by the collar and held me up against the wall.

"You fucking fag! I posted that picture of you and that guy of yours. its everywhere now. fucking gays like you don't deserve to live!" he yelled, punching me in the face. I fell to the ground. my cheek was throbbing. but his words hurt more.

"fucking faggot! you should just die! and your small fry of a boyfriend should too!"

kneed me in the stomach. kicked me. punched me till my nose bled.

he released his grip on me and I ran off, tears streaming down my face.

(time skip)

I ran into my dorm and slammed the door. Hide looked up from what he was doing at the desk and ran over to me, cupping my face in his hands.

"what the hell happened?!" he said, I forgot about my bloody nose. I just leant against him and cried into his shoulder.

After letting me cry for a couple minutes he pulled me down onto the bed and sat me on his lap. " Kaneki. you've been on my mind. I'm really worried, what happened?" he brushed my hair away from my face and looked into my eyes. his looked dull and sad.

"it doesn't matter..." I whisper, still shaking from the incident outside.

"it does. your cheek's bruised, your nose is fucking bleeding and you look terrified!" "I want to know Kaneki!!" Hide suddenly yelled, causing me to cringe.

"I told you it doesnt fucking matter!"

"It does you moron!"

"It's nothing to do with you! I can handle him myself!"

"Who the hell is 'him'?!"

"Hide.....its nothing like that...."

"Well what else am I supposed to think?! you don't tell me shit all!"

"I...."

"You know what? fuck this" I suddenly heard a door slam and Hide was gone.

I slumped down on the floor and cried.

(time skip again sorry, its midnight now)

Hide hasn't returned yet, its 12 in the morning. however, that's not the 1st thing on my mind.

I miss that feeling. it seemed to bring relief.

giving in to my thoughts I head to the bathroom.

open the drawer.

I see a glint of silver and sigh in content.

thank god it's still here.

I grab it, turn on the shower and step in.

I contemplate what I'm about to do.

should I do this? what if anyone sees? what if last year repeats itself?

"you know what? fuck this"

"Fucking gays like you don't deserve to live!"

"Fucking faggot! you should just die!"

and that what was what drove me

to drag the blade along my skin once again

and let the blood drip down.