Train Track Girls

15 - In which nothing means something

Chapter Song: Homewrecker // Marina & The Diamonds

Before

November was right. What she had with Micah did end, because for all that she liked his world, unique and lovely as it was, she decided to tear it apart.

It was her fault, but I think that it was also that they were falling for each other while they were falling apart. They dated the beginning of our sophomore year, a little after I'd found November at the train that horrible, horrible day. They were lost in each other, but unfortunately, all of their issues weren't.

I couldn't say what it was exactly that always had them fighting. Internal frustration maybe, the extrinsic frustration of having to watch the other always go overboard? I know that Micah had family problems – a different set for every member, of which there were many. I know that with the exception of me, November was quick to lose her temper. I should've been paying more attention, I suppose, but I was too busy being silently jealous. This didn't mean that I didn't like Micah because I did.

I remember seeing less of Maryse, but I didn't understand why that was until much later. Besides that, it all comes in flashes. I remember his sister's quinceanera, his knuckles dripping blood from a fight with his brother and that smile of savage arrogance that accompanied it. I remember the three of us throwing darts at his friend's bar, him kissing November on the roundabout at the park. I remember leaving November and I's room because they'd started to argue, him helping out at the Purple Milk because it had gotten unbelievably busy that one day. I remember how we were all driving in his car one night, coming back from a party, and November was curled up in the backseat, mumbling, "I'm never drinking again." Micah had looked at me then and said, "You know she'll always love you better than me, and I don't know why I like that so much." I'd grinned tiredly over at him, "Because second place to me is pretty amazing."

All in flashes, until they lead up to the moment that wrecked it all.

They'd gotten into a fight. I remember him storming out of the house, storming down the path, storming, storming, all the way back to his house, two blocks away. Aunt Decca had passed a comment about it, because she still didn't like him, and November blew up at her. That night she insisted we go out. I refused, because I knew how bad an idea it was, but she said she'd go anyway, and I thought that if she was going to go out angry, I'd better go with her.

So we did go out. She wanted to sneak into a club – she wanted to do all sorts of insane things that night – but I restricted her. I invited a few friends over. We ended up walking through the silent houses of the neighborhood. We turned down Flower Street and against everyone's better judgment and my strong superstition, we ventured into the abandoned house. It hardly felt real, any of it. We had one flashlight and freaked ourselves out. We had a good laugh about it though, each one at the other's expense. I searched November's face, thinking maybe she was no longer upset. She seemed it, with her smile wide and her eyes alive – but somehow I could tell she was still bothered.

Someone had claimed to hear a sound, which appropriately cracked the lot of us up. That was when someone presented November with a flower he'd stolen for her. And he kissed her.

She let it happen. She was perfectly sober and perfectly aware that she was destroying something very precious in this dark, unreal place. He pulled away, and his grin fell when faced with her expression. Her eyes dropped to the flower.

I knew what it reminded her of: Micah.

In their earlier stages, he'd been approaching her on the sidewalk when he picked a rose from Twenty Kids' garden. He had handed it over to her, pleased with himself, and she'd replied, smile bright, "Their dog probably pissed on this." I'd went inside after that, but I know she kept it.