The Metamorphosis Diaries

Chapter 7 -WillIWas

CHAPTER 7

The following weekend, I hit the mall. It had become a new thing for me to go to the mall by myself, not even with a friend to help me avoid clothes that made me gain 20 pounds. I enjoyed dressing in my heels, high wasted pants, low cut tank, and a long jacket and walking through stores I couldn't otherwise enter unbothered with my 'blue haired' or 'bull-nosed' friends as my mother called them (whom I love with all of my being) (my friends, not my mom) (and yes, I love her, too, I guess). I took advantage of the fact that I looked older than I was, so dressing the part added a few years. With Arden, I would be dragged through Ardene's and American Eagle as she plucked through rows of camis, but my heart desired thigh high boots and boyfriend blazers and pencil skirts and adulthood. So after gigs, I would plan a shopping spree where I treat myself to everything I desire.

The mall was as crowded as it usual was on Saturdays, especially now that Christmas break starts next weekend and people are looking for cheesy t-shirts to stuff a gift bag with for their cousins. I had seen a few groups of people from school, none of which I regularly talked to, but they waved and smiled at me as I passed. I didn't want to think it was because of my new dating arrangements, but deep on the inside I knew they were the same people to give me dirty looks in the halls for absolutely no reason at all.

To adults, the divide at my school seemed non-existent. We all looked the same in our matching red and 'gold' uniforms, but it went so much deeper than that. There was always the shoes, and the hair, and the weight, even the way someone smelt could sway which group they were devoured by. Every year, the groups start fresh, and they reform within the first day.

People who wear Uggs, smell like a VS store on fire, and had blond highlights in their dark brown hair became one group, and they all happened to have money and a way with manipulation. These people were the Pops.

If you were caught in the smokers pit on the first morning, you were banished to a lifetime of skipping class to kick darts and casual-committed relationships with the same four people. These were the Stoners.

And then there's me. I say hi to everyone possible on the first day, and whoever carried on the conversation became my go-to people for lunch. But every conversation was so different, varying from small talk to philosophy, sending me crashing into the axis of whatever High School revolves around. I didn't fit on the pyramid. My loyalty was forever changing, even with two or three good friends like Arden or Selena; they had their groups too. I wasn't inferior, just different. Admired and appreciated in a sense but never a part of the crowd. I was... the Sphinx.

My thoughts were beginning to crowd, causing me to lose my focus. My right-left stepping pattern became right-left-left-middle-now-reverse and I found myself shoving into a couple walking beside me.

"I'm so sorry!" I said, feeling my fingers start to twitch with nervousness.

The girl turned to me apologetically and lowered her black-lensed glasses before giving me a slight nod. The guy she was with, and WOW was this guy... woah... stood next to me trying to find his balance again too. He pushed his matching frames back up his face and stood straight again, sighing deeply.

"C'mon," She said with her hand out towards him. He took it, but continued looking back at me as they walked away together. I looked at him, too, hoping maybe he'd smile or wave back, but he kept a straight face and turned his attention back towards his destination, wherever that was.

I continued through the mall, looking between people, unconsciously comparing them all to the god-like two I just encountered. 


They were so in-sync with each other. They walked the same, dressed the same, and even had the same cinnamon and whiskey smell. It still tickled my nose, and I took a deep breath in to try and retrieve what was left of them. I've never seen anyone like it in town. They were so out of the ordinary; like the characters out of an indie film that the lonely girl befriends and gets enveloped into a whole new life with.