The Metamorphosis Diaries

Chapter 8 - The Box

CHAPTER 8

School had always been a nervous thing for me. I was barely passing math, passing English the way my father passes gas (freely and often), and I had no clue what was going on in my Cultural Literature class most of the time but still had an A. Needless to say, it didn't always come easy. I took twice as long as most people to finish tests, not because of perfectionism, but because I simply take a long time to bring thoughts to paper. This very diary here has taken me months, years, to complete. So I don't always pass tests with flying colours.

Except for one. Drug tests.

I won't always be pretty. Eventually I'll die and months later my skin will start to deteriorate, and that will be a hard time for me. I will never be the smartest girl in the room, and I'll have to push myself to succeed in school until I finish university. As a starving musician, I'll be poor for a long period of time. But the one thing I will always have, is my ability to say no.

I don't know why it means so much to me to not do drugs. I don't care about the health benefits or getting in trouble, but there's this dignity in saying no. I have lots of friends who enjoy the feeling of marijuana in their lungs, and to each their own, but I don't see a point, myself.

When I show up to parties, people already think I'm on something. And since most of the 'parties' I've gone to are seasonal get-togethers that are supervised by their parents and we play Just Dance in their living room, I usually get some pretty crazy looks.

The reason I mention all of this, is because of the infamous Box. The 'hidden' place in the bush by my school that summons stoners and soon-to-be-dropouts alike to blaze before the bell goes. And today, I was there.

I have this friend, Athena. She's gorgeous with her blond hair, blue eyes, and long legs. Every guy she came into contact with grew a crush on her at some point, and it wasn't hard to. She was a mystery. Except to me.

I knew her well. Most people preferred her to be the sexy mystery hidden behind puffs of smoke and black eyeliner. So for most people she stayed that way because she thought that's what they wanted. But the thing is, if you take the time to get to know her without having to talk over the shared interest of bong collections, she makes sense. She's human.

So I decided to catch up with Athena today. I stayed by her side during lunch as she made the 147 pace journey to The Box.

I got a lot of weird looks once we arrived. Athena got a friendly welcome, many guys standing from their spots on tree trunks to give her a hug. Athena never came with her amo because she knew her power. And like always, a few guys offered her a puff of their loosely rolled joints.

I sat and watched as everyone around me became hazy. I didn't feel awkward, but I could tell they wanted me to. It should bother me to be around them as they blew smoke in my face, but instead it pissed them off that I stood there calmly, engaging in a normal conversation with Athena as she puffed away.

"You want some?" she offered.

"Not today." The answer was clockwork to me. I told myself I would smoke if I had a piano nearby, so I could write the perfect song while I was high. But I kept putting off the opportunity, addicted to the fact that I'd been in this situation many times before and I've been able to say no.

Fact is, smoking weed does make you cooler. Athena was one of the people I was closest with in my small circle of friends that smoked, and I have never hung out with all of them at once. But I knew they did with each other. I'd seen all the snapchat stories of them passing around a joint or to, laughing in their tripped-out state. It made me jealous, but I knew it wasn't a matter of cool or uncool. I knew that if they weren't bonding over a bong, they all had nothing in common.