"You're lucky you got her her in time. If she had of stayed asleep for even another hour, she would most likely be dead," a female voice says. Where am I? Who are these people? Where are my parents? Why does my body feel like my veins contain liquid lead?
I hear soft sobbing then a voice, "Will she wake up?" I recognise it as my mother's voice as soon as she speaks.
"I would like to tell you yes but... I have no idea. She could never wake up," the voice from before says and my mum cries harder.
"Is there anything we can do?" a different voice, my father's, says.
"Just talk to her. Hold her hand. That's about all you can do. I'll give you some time alone," I hear a door open and close then someone grabs my hand.
"Please, Hazel. Please wake up. I am begging you," Mum says, tears thick in her voice.
I try and try to open my eyes just a crack even though I am so tired. After about a minute, my right eye lazily opens a bit and I see my mother staring intently at me with tears clouding her vision. She takes in a big breath and the salty tears overflow and fall down her red cheeks.
"Thank God! She's awake! She's awake! Hazel, dear, I love you so much! So, so much," she hugs me and keeps murmuring about how thankful she is and how much she loves me.
"So, I see she is awake," a woman says from the doorway. My cancer doctor. "Now, Hazel, I presume you don't know why you are here. Am I correct?"
"Yes," I croak out.
"Well, while you were sleeping, your lungs were filling with cancer liquid. If your parents hadn't heard you screaming, the liquid would of kept choking you and eventually you would have died. Now, why were you screaming?" she asks, the one question I didn;t want to answer.
"I...had a nightmare. About Gus. He was taken into a black hole by a monster. Can I ask a question now?" everyone nods. "Is Augustus really dead?"
My father finds a sudden interest in the sickly lime green tiles under his worn loafers and my mother starts to cry. She glumly nods her head once. This small gesture pulls my whole world apart. I sink down into the lumpy hospital bed and tears leak out the corners of my eyes. I turn my face into the pillow that smells of disinfectants and sob and scream.
But no matter how hard I sob or how loud I scream, the pain never leaves my scarred heart. It continues to cut deeper and deeper, leaving more and more scars, re-opening other scars. I guess that's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt. My parents try and comfort me but there is only one person that can comfort me at this moment.
"I need my phone," I push my hand from my face and after a second or two, a phone is placed in my hands. I look through my contacts and select the one I have used so much in the past year. It beeps a few times then goes to voice mail.
"Hey. Sorry I couldn't get to you, I was too busy fathoming my thoughts into constellations. If you are my Hazel Grace, just remeber that it would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you," Augutus' voice seeps through the holes in my phone and quietens the sobbing to soft whimpers. I dial the next number that belongs to the person who is the second best at consoling me. Isaac.
"Hello?" Isaac's mum answers the phone in a slightly concerned voice. It is 2 in the morning.
"It's Hazel. Can I speak to Isaac?" There is a few seconds delay until his voice crackles to life.
"Support Group Hazel! How's it going?" He says energetically even though most people would be frustrated that they have been woken up for a phone call.
"I'm in the hospital," is all I have to say for him to say "Five minutes" and hang up. Sure enough, five minutes and twelve seconds later he comes in with his mother in an old Dallas Cowboys shirt and a pair of pyjama shorts with rainbow unicorns.
I start laughing and Isaac's face becomes confused.
"What?" He asks, genuinely confused.
"What...are you...wearing?" I ask between laughs.
"My mum dressed me. Why?"
"You're wearing unicorn shorts!" I raise my voice into an almost yell then start another round of laughing.
"Mum! Am I really wearing the unicon shorts from eighth grade!?" Isaac asks in a state of disbelief.
"What? It was all I could find!" His mum defends. "We'll leave you two alone."
My parents, the cancer doctor and Isaac's mum all leave me in the bed and Isaac in one of the hard plastic chairs.
"So, Hazel, why did you call me here?"
"While I was sleeping, my lungs filled with liquid. If my parents didn't get me here as fast as they did, I would be dead," Iexplain and lean harder into my pillow. "Are we still going to the party?"
"Duh! We will have so much fun!" Isaac exclaims. At the wall.
"Great! So its on Friday, right? Two days from now?"
"Yeah. So I'll see you there?" He asks.
"Two things, Isaac. One; you can't see and two; I'm your ride there," I giggle a little and roll over in my bleached white sheets. Fatigue washes over me and I feel myself slipping.
"Goodnight. I love you," I whisper into the harsh lights that belong to every hospital.
"Goodnight, Hazel. I love you, too," A voicd says and for a minute my hope rises because I think it is Augutus, coming back to me and bidding me a good night's rest. But it doesn't sound like Gus, but I'm too far into unconsciousness that I can't figure out who grabs my hand as I fall asleep.
