Random Thoughts

Manhid Plus Torpe

Bat di ko pa rin matapos ang scene na 'yun sa utak ko.

Hindi ko ma-rewrite after numerous attempts to write the exact scene.

I've been thinking about it for ages. Pero hindi ko pa rin ma-perfect yung scene.

I can't even write a single word for it.

Pero bakit ganun, hindi ko pa rin mabitawan ang pag-asang maisusulat ko ang scenario na 'yun?

Sunod-sunod kong pagdrop ng message kay Marcus, editor ko. Sobrang frustrated writer lang talaga ako.

No, a writer's block is an understatement. Sabi ko nga kay Marcus, ilang taon ko nang pinag-iisipan, pineperpekto sa isipan ko ang mismong moment na 'yun, na kung ita-translate mo sa totoong buhay, pwedeng maging ilang minuto lang o max na 'yung isang oras lang ang itatagal sa real world.

Pero bakit sobra-sobra kong pinagtutuunang pansin ang pagsasabuhay ng scenario na yun sa utak ko?

Hindi kaya subsconsciously, gusto kong mangyari sa personal ang moment na 'yun?

Being a self-confessed creep, I even tried to reenact it alone bago ako matulog.

Ang mga linyahan, ang mga emosyon. Napapaiyak pa nga ako kahit di naman talaga ako iyakin.

Creepy-crazy for others, but for me, it's the passion acting and talking.

Kaso pag isusulat ko na, nahihirapan na akong maalala.

Patuloy lang akong nagmemessage kay Marcus.

Marcus, di ko alam kung mapapasa ko ang scenario na to this week. I know I've been procrastinating for a while pero please give me another week para magpaalam sa moment na kinababaliwan kong masulat.

I've made up my mind. Magpapaalam na ako sa istoryang yun. I'll just give it up and replace it with a less cheesier scene, or worse, fillers.

Nang biglang tumunog ang messenger ko. Si Marcus.

You know what, Winter? I still believe that you can write that scene that you have been wanting to recreate.

I hurriedly answered.

Paano, Marcus? I've never been with someone, much less intimate with anyone! I don't even do hugs for Christ's sake!

3 minutes, 8 minutes. Baka may ginagawa lang si Marcus. I badly need his inputs. Ugh.

Marcus typing...

Exactly my point, Winter.

Nalito ako.

Point not taken, Marc. What exactly are you trying to say? Hindi ako galit, don't worry.

Marcus typing again...

Let the moment seize you, Winter. Minsan kasi, 'yung mga simpleng bagay, na-o-overlook natin. It's the little things that you need to magnify sometimes. Take a closer look, baka nasa tabi mo lang 'yung hinahanap mo.

Wala namang hahanapin, Marcus. Kailangan ba, gawin kong realiserye para lang maisulat ko? Do I really have to go that far for a scene?

Marcus typing...

Medyo napapatagal ata siyang magreply ah.

Then pops his message.

Not really, Winter Kale. Haha. But if that's what it takes for you to satiate the hunger of finally writing that scene, maybe it's time for you to...date someone?

Napaisip nya ako dun.

Like really, Marcus Aurelius Tavera III?

Like really, Winter Kale Ravales.

Kailangan talaga buong pangalan?

Look, Winter Kale. I don't have the whole picture of what you're trying to write since forever, but I guess it relates to two people having a connection?

I guess so, Marc.

Okay then. Connections. Connections that you don't have.

Natawa ako sa sagot nya.

Originality naman, Marc. Hahaha. So, what now?

Natawa rin ako don, Winter. So, back to the ball game, connections. When is the last time that you actually felt connected with anyone? Like a deep one.

Not that I can remember, Marc. I've been single since Hendryk. And there wasn't even a relationship to begin with. T'was a puppy love pa nga e.

Napansin kong he stopped typing for a while.

5 minutes, 10 minutes, 23 minutes.

Marcus typing...

Just surprised, Winter Kale. This is the first time that you shared something personal to me, name-dropped even.

Natampal ko ang noo ko.

You're right, Marc. Sorry about that.

But it's a good kind of surprised, though. I'm actually giving you credits to that.

Yeah, right.

So, Hendryk, huh?

Maybe let's not talk about him? He's practically irrelevant.

Marcus typing...

See, that's one point, you always try to shut down people who'd actually want to be in your life, thinking like that makes you seem like a snob.

I just thought na masyadong wild ang pagkatao ko, para akong laging God mode sa RPG. I think I need a Saitama to make me come into my senses na, I could be tamed.

Haha, funny. You watch anime pala. That's awesome.

Yeah, you should try watching the series.

Marcus typing...

So, I thought maybe you could use a friend, how about a simulation?

Simulation...for?

A date, perhaps?

Medyo nagtataka na ako sa pinapatunguhan ng usapan naming to.

And he is somehow taking too long to reply.

5 minutes, 12 minutes.

Simulation, meaning, maybe I could try to take you out on a date and—

Ugh, never mind.

Holy crap.

Is he really asking me out or--?

He types again.

But yeah, what if we try this? Maybe it can help you write that scene you've been longing to write for ages.

I froze for a moment, but I tried to regain composure. Baka gusto lang nitong makatulong sa'kin.

But of course, it's your call, we don't have to do this if you don't want to—

I hurriedly typed in.

No, no problem, Marc. Maybe I could really use your help. :)