Things Worth Dying For (A Sirius Black x Reader Love Story)

Midnight Madness

October 4th, 1971:

For an entire month, Y/N had indulged in spending time with kids her age, having genuine, heartfelt conversations, getting used to affectionate pats on her back and trying not to flinch at unexpected touches. She had laughed more than she thought possible, her jaw beginning to ache in the best kind of way. Most of all, though, she delighted in the freedom Hogwarts offered her. She had spent four years in Belgium; four years of having spells and charms well above her age-level instilled into her; four years of rigorous routine, every breath of her day mapped out for her; of teaching her physical strength and flexibility, along with every legal self defense spell they could get her to manage-even some illegal ones; four years of torturous nights of scars and bruises, nights that taught her that tears and self-pity were attributes of weakness. In short, Y/N was well ahead of most of the content taught to first years at Hogwarts, leaving her ample time to explore the grand castle. Free time was a luxury she could not remember affording for the past four years.

During the day, the castle was nothing short of enchanting. Walks between class were distinguished by the multitude of portraits, dancing their days away, or hollering greetings at students passing by. Y/N couldn't seem to get enough of the Gryffindor ghost, nearly-headless Nick, nor of the stories of the lives of the hoards of ghosts that still called Hogwarts home. For some time, even the moving staircases captivated Y/N's attention, learning to familiarize herself with its routine with her new-found best friend, Lily, by her side. She was even almost starting to look forward to the pranks Sirius and James delighted in pulling, the other two boys-Remus and Peter-occasionally joining in. 

Yes, Hogwarts was quite captivating  during the day, but Y/N had gotten bored of exploring it under the watchful eyes of fellow students and staff quickly. She had grown tired of skirting the edges of the forbidden forest, the disapproving eyes of Madam Hooch following her every move; grown weary of Filch's gravelly voice, like nails on chalkboard, interrupting her every time she wandered into unexplored hallways. Surprisingly, she had even become exasperated with the constant chatter of the halls and courtyards. She longed to sit on the branches of one of the majestic trees, the feeling of the wind blowing through her curls while she took in in the real magic of Hogwarts; the tranquility of the courtyard when students weren't tackling each other to the ground, where she could hear the songs of exotic birds piercing the starry night sky and not a soul was around to interrupt her solace.

So, on October 4th, 1971, on a particularly sleepless night, she had covered herself with a Disillusionment charm and tiptoed out of Gryffindor tower. That was also the day she first stumbled upon a trembling, sandy haired boy being lead out of the castle by the school nurse. 

She had initially assumed  he had gotten caught enjoying the same midnight hobby as her, and  panicking, she hid behind a rather large pillar. Daring to peek out from her refuge, she realized the boy, whom she recognized as one of James's friends, Remus Lupin, was not being dragged back to the Common Room, nor to Professor McGonogall's office. Instead, with her wand lighting the way, Madame Pomfrey had gently tugged the boy towards the Whomping Willow. From the safety of her spot in the hallway, Y/N could not make out how Madame Pomfrey had managed to tame the branches of the violent tree, nor where exactly she had left the boy, but within minutes, the school nurse had returned to the castle once again, with Remus no where in sight. 

November 2nd, 1971: 

Y/N had waited into the darkest parts of the night for Remus to return, but the rays of sun peeking over the horizon signaled the end of her adventure. She did not fail to note his absence in class the following day, nor his weakened state two days later. She had waited night after night since then, tucked away into a tree with a book in her hands, eyes trained at the hallway she had seen them come from previously. 

 It was a month before she caught sight of Remus with Madame Pomfrey again, and she had watched him curiously. The scene from last month replayed in front of her. The full moon had started to come out, illuminating the path the pair had taken. She pondered for a second whether it would be risky to follow the boy, but the ominous howling from the Forbidden Forest minutes later answered the question for her.

Y/N was starting to become desperate to uncover another one of Hogwart's secrets. She had even once spent an entire night in the boys's dorm, just outside the door leading to their beds, waiting to see if perhaps he took a different route each night. 

December 2nd, 1971:

It wasn't until an entire month had passed, an entire moon cycle, that it clicked for her. She had learned about werewolves during her training in Belgium, learned to differentiate between them and real wolves based on the shape of their snouts, and learned to kill them without hesitation. She had not, however been prepared for the day she would meet one with the caramel eyes of a freckle-faced boy who had shown her kindness when his friends had not, a boy who was respectful to teachers and possessed an astonishing amount of quiet intelligence. It had taken her minutes after discovering his secret to decide that she would never share it with anyone, never reveal to him that she knew.  

 January 30th, 1972: 

This time, she was expecting him. 

The whole school, including Y/N, had emptied for the Christmas holidays, and Remus was no exception. The next full moon had been set to occur on New Year's eve, and Y/N's heart couldn't help but ache for the boy, who'd spend his entrance into the new year, not with his loved ones, but most likely locked in a shed, or chained down in a dark, musty cellar. Try as she might, she couldn't make herself hate him-or even fear him, couldn't apply the words her father used-half-breeds and unwanted accidents- to the boy who stuttered the first time he had partnered with her in Potions. 

The soft whispers of Madame Pomfrey brought her out of her reminiscence. She was beginning to get accustomed to this scene; the scrawny little boy with his ghost-white face being escorted down to endure insurmountable pain all alone, to turn up the next day with fresh wounds, a fabricated story, and a phony smile. 

However, tonight, Madame Pomfrey wasn't the only one whose murmurs hung in the crisp, winter air. A few moments after Madame Pomfrey passed with Remus, Y/N was startled to discover a second set of footprints in the snow, poorly hushed whispers cutting through the silent, glittering night sky. She squinted in the dark, before pointing her wand in their direction and whispering "Revelio."

She held her breath, waiting, but nothing happened. In a split second decision, she jumped to her feet from her favorite spot in the tree, and keeping a safe distance, followed the footprints left by the invisible pair. She was quite certain the bodiless set of footprints were walking to their deaths.