Things Worth Dying For (A Sirius Black x Reader Love Story)

The Big Bad Wolf

Y/N had never been inside of the infirmary before. Watching Remus lay on his bed, his fresh cuts contrasting sharply with the white of the bed sheets, she silently thanked the universe for never giving her a reason to be in there. While the rest of Hogwarts boasted a proud history, magic oozing from every crevice of its walls, the infirmary was drab and dismal. Everything-the walls, the bed sheets, the floor tiles- was a variation of a shade of grey or white, and the pungent smell of Sleeping Draught hung in the air. Most of the beds were empty by now, save for Remus and another student-the chaser of Ravenclaw's quidditch team- who was attached to bag of Blood-Replenishing Potion.

When Y/N first entered, Peter and James were already by a sleeping Remus' side, engaged in a heated discussion about something, while the nurse rummaged through the medicine cabinet trying to hide her suspicious glances. Madame Pomfrey was a frenzied woman, overwhelmed with the proclivity towards accidents that was inevitable in a school filled with magical children.

"Y/N!" James lit up as he saw her make her way towards the bed, as if he hadn't spent the last four years hating her.

Y/N tried for a smile, failing miserably when her eyes landed on Remus. He had always been a skinny boy who looked like the smallest of noises might frighten him, the lightest of winds might topple him over. Laying in that bed, however, he looked a different kind of fragile, reminding Y/N harshly of the image of the werewolf, of this boy, with his light snores and feet poking out of the covers, being flung around by the Whomping Willow. The circles under his eyes were set so deep that the greenish-blue of his veins was visible against the purple skin. Madame Pomfrey had evidently stopped any bleeding, but she could not cure the way his skin clung tightly to the bones on his face, pronounced even more by the scars that criss-crossed across his cheeks, mapping their way down to his neck and bare chest. Tentatively, she reached out, lightly tracing the ones on his chest, mostly to reassure herself that she wasn't imagining the steady rise and fall of his chest that guaranteed that he was, in fact, still breathing. He stirred under her touch, tousles of hair falling on his eyes, and Y/N hastily retracted her hands.

"We should do something-get him something to eat or drink maybe."

She jumped at Sirius' voice behind her, so engulfed in the sight before her that she didn't notice him come in. She threw a malicious glance over her shoulder but the boy didn't even acknowledge her, fueling the fire of rage inside her. She was spared dwelling on that anger, though, as Remus' sleepy voice caught everyone's attention.

"Sirius? Is that you?"

His voice was muffled and strained, eyes still not fully open. His hands slowly felt around his bed, curling instantly around James'.

"Yeah, buddy, it's all of us. We're here for you."

James' voice seemed to bring Remus out of his sleepy state. In a flash, Remus shot up in bed, frantically running his hands up and down his body, and watching his crowd of friends incredulously.

"Wh-what are you guys doing here? This is just-I mean , I fell and-"

Y/N's fingers ached to reach out, to comfort the boy, but once again, she felt like an outsider intruding on an intimate moment. Peter had instantly reached out to lay Remus back on his bed, reassuring him softly that hes safe, he's okay, he should rest. Sirius had gotten food from Madame Pomfrey, laying it on the bedside table while him and James huddled around their friend. Y/N watched Remus' features descend into horror as the events just before he turned dawned on him.

"You guys-oh my god-did I hurt you? Oh god." Remus tugged at his hair in frustration, fidgeting with everything in reaching distance. He seemed to have completely drowned out the boys' reassurances that everything is fine. Instead, he kept softly, almost incoherently whispering, "I'm so sorry, I'm such a monster. This is what I get for having friends, I'm so sorry, so sorry..."