Things Worth Dying For (A Sirius Black x Reader Love Story)

Slughorn's Christmas Party

A/N first of all, thanks to everyone who made it this far in my story bc this is seriously my favorite year for them!!! Also ok hopefully this part wasn't too long, the next one is going to be so fluffy and cute I'm so excited to write it (it's like half done) thanks again!!!!

Of all the innately magical things about Hogwarts, the most awe-inspiring was, without a doubt, Christmas. 

Y/N couldn't remember the last time she'd had a genuine Christmas; one that hadn't been spent picking at stale mashed potatoes on a poorly washed plate, shivering in the cold darkness of her basement dorm in Belgium. 

Since Year 1, she'd spent the weeks following up to Christmas marveling at the enchantments of the castle. Overnight, the stairs became laced with bright green sprigs of holly, the enchanted ceiling casting an entrancing glow with twinkling stars and shadows of snow disappearing against one's touch. Golden ornaments floated into place against the 30 foot Christmas Tree looming in the great hall, fresh mistletoe, jingling bells and sparkling lights adorning every corner of the castle. Even the weather seemed to want to cooperate, sparkling snowflakes drifting down, gently blanketing all signs of autumn. 

In the past couple years, Y/N's attitude toward Christmas blossomed towards love and she wondered how she'd ever come to hate it.

Until now.

Now, she was brooding in the corner of Slughorn's Christmas party, watching some girl with gorgeous blonde hair sway her hips in time with Sirius'. She hadn't even wanted to come, insisted that she was content to celebrate Christmas wrapped in a blanket with a warming charm, wearing the fuzzy socks Lily had given her, and reading a book with a cup of steaming hot cocoa. She'd been invited to these since Year 1, her last name never failing to give her perks she neither asked for, nor wanted, and she had never once accepted, the pretentiousness of it all weighing much too heavily on her. 

But this year, everything changed. 

It all started in September of their 4th year. This year turned out to be different, from day one. Sirius had changed over the summer. She remembered running into his arms, or rather the jumbled arms of the four boys combined, and was taken aback by the sudden strength and firmness of them. His voice was deep in a way that made the hairs rise on the back of her arm, and he had grown so that his arms rested perfectly on her shoulders. He had finally figured out how to style his hair in just the right way, messy enough to drive his mother up a wall, but tamed enough that it rested perfectly where his collar bones met his shoulders, tickling the edge of his jaw which seemed to have sharpened over the span of two months. His shoulders and chest had broadened too, and Y/N wasn't sure why she suddenly felt too shy to touch him. He had always been a good-looking boy, but this was different. He had grown into his sharp features to be absolutely breathe-taking.

Y/N was never one to think about her appearance. She thought she looked fine, pretty even, but she couldn't place why she suddenly felt inadequate in his presence. She also wasn't sure why her heart felt like it was on fire when she discovered that other girls had noticed the change too.  She wanted to claw Mary Macdonald's gorgeous green eyes out when she'd let her arms linger on his just a fraction of a second too long. 

She also felt strangely nauseous when she realized Sirius noticed the attention and enjoyed it, the way his eyes sparkled with mischievousness, or the way his cheekbones stuck out sharply against his defined jawline as he eyed the next beautiful girl who approached him during breakfast, or dinner, asking if he'd be their partner during potions, or walk them to History of Magic. He'd always been confident, carelessly unaware of his looks, but he started putting extra attention into the bounce of his hair, into the casual messiness of his robes, into the flirtatious remarks thrown around casually, and Y/N seethed with fury. 

It all came to a climax when Slughorn, for the fourth time, invited Sirius, James, Lily, Y/N and Remus to his annual Christmas party. 

Sirius and James had never wanted to go before, but this year, James had developed a special interest in doing whatever Lily was doing, and Lily loved these parties. Y/N could relate, of course. If she had been invited to a muggle party, with important muggle families, she'd attend every single time. Hell, she'd even offer to work it, but she'd always relied on the boys to keep her company during Slughorn's party while the rest of Hogwarts milled around in envy. 

Instead, James retaliated against Lily taking Severus by asking to escort Amelia Bones to the party. Sirius had made a list of every girl that hinted that she'd like him to escort her and then asked the prettiest one, which ended up being a girl one year below them by the name of Hannah Poke, much to Y/N's chagrin. Remus had spent an entire week wanting to ask out Dante Wood, but knowing Y/N's inclination to skip the party, didn't want to risk leaving Peter out.  The weekend before the actual event, Y/N finally gave in, no longer being able to stand the pining looks Remus shot the eldest Wood boy. She asked Peter to be her escort, nudging a shy Remus towards his crush. 

"Thank-you so much , Y/N! I've always wanted to go to one of these! Should we color coordinate our outfits?", Peter had sputtered out in his excitement. Y/N grinned at him, finding his excitement endearing and forgetting for a moment how much she dreaded watching Sirius and Hannah and their relentless touching. 

"Sure Pete, what's your favorite color?", she'd asked, straining over the chatter of a full Gryffindor common room, the lower years watching with a mixture of fascination and disappointment as upper years prepared for the upcoming Hogsmeade trip. 

"His favorite color? Please, Y/N, you can't possibly let him choose your dress for you, you'll come in looking like a joke! ", drawled Sirius voice from behind Y/N. Peter's face turned a bright shade of red before he laughed it off, stuttering out a shameful agreement. 

"You really can't base it off me, Y/N. My favorite color is yellow, that can't look good on a dress can it? ", Peter mumbled. 

Sirius chuckled again, and Y/N fumed. She knew it wasn't fair, it wasn't his fault that he didn't like her, it wasn't his fault that there were prettier girls and he'd rather chase them, and it definitely wasn't his fault that she'd accidentally developed feelings for him and didn't know how to get rid of them, but that didn't stop her from directing all her anger towards him nonetheless. 

"Yellow?", scoffed Sirius, amusement lacing his words, "That has got to be the absolute ugliest color Pete!"

Y/N turned around, eyes narrowed, a silent challenge written in them. Sirius cocked his head in response, a half smirk on his lips as held his gaze steady with hers, accepting whatever challenge she seemed to be presenting.

"Right, so what would you suggest we wear, Black?", Y/N asked, her voice dangerously soft and steady. 

Without missing a beat, Sirius responded: "Red, of course! That's my favorite color, and I think you'd look ravishing in it." His eyes had a mischievous twinkle in them, and Y/N pretended not to notice how close his face had gotten. 

"Then tell Hannah to wear red and leave us alone", Y/N responded coldly, linking arms with Peter and disappearing through the portrait hole with a flip of her hair, leaving a confused Sirius behind.