Things Worth Dying For (A Sirius Black x Reader Love Story)

Ending Things Right

"You're doing it wrong."

Sirius turned abruptly, heart racing at the thought of being discovered. He was balanced at the top of one of the moving staircases leading to Ravenclaw Tower, surrounded by a flurry of robes, books and firecrackers. This was set to be their final prank of the school year; it had to leave a lasting impression. Instead of being met with a prefect-or worse, a professor-he recognized Y/N's small frame standing at the bottom of the steps.  

They weren't exactly friends, not the way her and James were. James was delighted to have his childhood friend back. His mood seemed lighter in all the classes, and this seemed to have even brought the four boys closer together.  Y/N also loosened up, sassing professors now and then. She and Remus shared a special bond after her rescue at the Whomping Willow, and she was one of the few students who not only tolerated Peter, but genuinely enjoyed his presence. She often spent her lunch hour or breakfast with the boys when Lily was with Severus.

Y/N and Sirius, however, had developed a suffocating tension. He never missed the way her voice died down whenever he approached, nor the way her body stiffened and she carefully avoided any eye contact. In turn, she never missed Sirius' coincidental absence or tardiness on days when she had breakfast with the boys, nor the way he always sat on the opposite end from her during Quidditch games.

 She never fully forgave him for the things he said to her in the Gryffindor Common Room, unwillingly to accept the apology that never came. Sirius, just as stubborn, refused to apologize. He wasn't in the wrong. He had days when he questioned his own morals, his own upbringing peeking through the cracks of the facade he put up. It wasn't unreasonable, he thought, to wonder about a girl who barely had any exposure to muggles. Part of him thought that maybe he had also asked for himself. He wanted to know what made her tick, what made her so sure in what she believed. He had no doubt, to this day, that Y/N possessed the ability to kill Remus that night. So what was it that, despite her upbringing, made her hold back? He wanted to know desperately, wanted to silence to persistent voice in the back of his head that told him 'No, you're wrong, you're making a mistake, you're a disgrace to the Black lineage.'

Realizing it was Y/N in the shadow, Sirius let out a breath. He rolled his eyes and turned away. 

"Yeah right. Like you'd know how muggle fireworks work", he sneered, struggling to position them in just the right way. James and Peter were busy setting up 2 other sets near the other stairwells, and Remus, although he won't admit it, was making sure the trio weren't caught.

Ignoring the disdain in Sirius' voice, Y/N walked closer, sitting cross legged next to Sirius. How could she be so relaxed? They'd both get detention and a letter home if they got caught in such a compromising position. 

"They're going to go off as soon as you light them-you can't time them like ours. You won't even have a chance to run away!"

Sirius' previous frantic demeanor ebbed away, and he slumped down onto the ground, his arms hanging loosely by his side.

"Right. Maybe we didn't think this through entirely. James and Peter's will go off any minute then!"

Y/N chuckled, and Sirius turned to look at her incredulously. He could never really place what it was about her that unnerved him so much. It was like he could't help but pay attention to her when she was in the vicinity. Perhaps it was the way she never actively participated in their mischief but her offhanded, casual remarks about their execution always helped them avoid detention. Or, the way she excelled in class, but none of the other students could ever tell by the casual way she carried herself. Or, the way her laughter was so powerful, so contagious, despite how small she was. It was just something about her that made Sirius forget how to behave. 

"Don't worry, Black. I already warned them. They-uh-they made me come tell you, as well."

Sirius ran a hand through his long locks, briefly wondering how angry his mother would be when she finally saw how long and wild he'd let it grow out to be. 

"Don't do me any favors, L/N." He'd meant for the words to come out hostile, to make clear that he didn't need her help. Instead, they came out defeated and pleading. 

Y/N shook her head softly, a tentative smile on her face. She got up from her position on the floor next to him, brushing down the dust off her robes. 

"I'm really not inclined to be your enemy, Black." The words came out just above a whisper and even though Sirius was still staring at the ground, he could feel the brunette's gaze on him. Finally, she sighed and turned to walk away. However, she stopped at the bottom of the staircase and called back to him. 

"Light the fireworks with your wand from as far as you can get, Black. It'll give you a fighting chance."

And with a final look over he shoulder, she threw her curls behind her and walked to the Great Hall for the Farewell Feast. Sirius wondered if he was the only one who felt something change between that in that moment, who felt a foreign tenderness in the air. He found himself wondering if he'd see her over the summer, and already counting the days until the start of Year 2. 

A/N sorry this part was kind of mehh but next chapter, picking up on their second year will be much better!