Because of You

Chapter 19

"Uhhh there's Ramen noodles!" Jayden called from his kitchen. I was sitting on his couch after a long day at the studio. I was working another solo with Nina and it was exhausting. It was more jazzy this time. It was really fun, but also more upbeat and I had just been getting back to dancing since I had been in that crash so it was a little difficult.

"Whatever you want is fine!" I called back. The past few days I had started to notice my anxiety ebb away when it was just Jayden and I. He was really the only person I had managed to get this close to. He put some Ramen noodles on the stove and came over to sit by me. Right as he sat down my phone rang. I glanced at it. "Oh I should answer this," I said.

I clicked the answer button and held the phone to my ear. "Hey Mom," I said.

"Hey Hun where are you at?"

"I'm just over at Jay's."

"Oh... cool! I was gonna ask if you wanted to come visit while your dad was at work but if you're with Jayden have fun!"

"Ah sorry Mom! Next time? I wanna come see you again."

"Yeah sure Wen," my mom said cheerily.

"K cool. Talk to you later."

"Yup bye!"

I hung up the phone and looked at Jayden. He smiled at me and I leaned my head on his shoulder. Suddenly, his shoulder slipped out from underneath my head and he stood up, leaving me to fall over on the couch. I looked up at him confused. He blushed slightly and pointed behind him. "The Ramen noodles," he said.

I laughed so hard tears came out of my eyes. Jay's priorities. Don't get me wrong, Ramen noodles are very important. He laughed sheepishly and went to finish making the Ramen noodles. He brought me my bowl on the couch and settled down to eat his own. "You and your mom doing good?" He asked.

"Yeah. It's definitely taking time for the both of us to get used to our new relationship, but Mom's trying hard so I am too."

He nodded. "That's good." We ate our Ramen noodles in silence, but the kind of silence that's relaxing and comfortable. After an hour or two I decided I better head back to my house. Marley would be getting lonely I was sure.

I opened my door and expecting Marley to be waiting for me I automatically said, "Hey Marley Marley Marleyyy!" But... she wasn't there waiting for me like she always is and she didn't run up to the door. "Marley?" I scrunched my eyebrows and walked into the house.

She wasn't in the kitchen or the dance room. I cautiously walked into my room... and instantly dropped everything I was holding. I rushed over to the limp figure beside my bed. "No no no," I whispered frantically kneeling down. I reached out a hand and stopped it right before it reached Marley. I choked and tears streaked down my face.

I didn't want to touch her. I didn't want to find a cold, limp body if I did. I was too afraid. "No," I sobbed. "Not... not Marley." I let my hand fall to the ground and collapsed in sobs. Marley had been 11 and I knew she was slowing down. I knew it. But I couldn't control the tears streaming down my face, the heart wrenching emotions I felt every time I thought about the sweet little cat laying beside me.

"She's just- she's just sleeping," I tried to convince myself. But, I knew the truth. I couldn't stop it from being real. I had to accept it. I had to accept that my best friend was no longer with me. That I would never have her to spend my lonely nights, my lonely days with again. I couldn't control the sobs that wracked my body anymore than I could control what I had come home to.

I just... I just hoped with all my heart, all my soul that she was never hurting. That she simply fell asleep and she was now going to sleep forever. I finally got the courage to reach out and stroke a little paw. She had been gone for awhile. And I hadn't been there. But, maybe it was for the best. It was.

I dragged myself off the floor, my hair and face wet with tears, and got a box out of my closet. I grabbed Marley's favorite blanket off my bed and put it inside. I didn't need it. It was hers anyways. I scooped up Marls and placed her gently in the box, shutting the lid on top of her. And then I suffered through her funeral alone. Because there was no one I could share this moment with. No one could ever know how much Marley meant to me. And now she was gone...

I don't even like myself anymore. I'm so sorry guys. You probably want to kill me. I was actually crying when I wrote this. Ugggg life. I hope you stay with me even though I'm a terrible person. Don't forget to vote, comment, and follow me... unless you don't want to.