The Different Shades of Love {WATTYS 2018}

Chapter 1

"Just gonna stand there and hear me cry? Well, that's all right because I love the way you lie" Love the Way you Lie by Eminem and Rihanna

Looking at Trevor standing there with his brown eyes staring at me so hard I can feel the anger coming out of them. The eyes that I once loved to look into and that made me feel so safe are now the eyes that bring me nothing but pain. That tanned sexy body of his used to make me weak in my knees now makes me wish I could run.
"You need to stop crying! I'm so sick of you always fucking crying!" Trevor screamed in my face.
"I wouldn't cry if you would stop being such an asshole all the time!" I hissed back with tear stained cheeks.
"What the fuck did you say to me?" I saw his fists clench. But there's no way I'm backing down!
"I said to stop being an asshole!" I screamed while wiping the tears from my face.
What happened next took me by surprise. He hit me. That bastard fucking hit me! It wasn't a slap across the face. No, it was a full on punch to my stomach. Not once, not twice, but three fucking times. I tried my best to stand my ground but the pain was so much it made me black out. I woke up on the ground with him standing over me smoking. I got myself to my feet and went running to the bathroom. As I looked at myself in the mirror I could see the marks showing up already. I don't know what made him turn into this person. How could he do this to me after 2 1/2 years together?
You're wondering why if he is doing this to me and I'm so unhappy, why am I still with him? Well for you to understand I'm going to have to take you back to 3 1/2 years ago when we first met. I was about to turn 20 and standing on the very same beach where I had so many happy memories with my mom. The same beach where I spread her ashes after she died of breast cancer a year before I met Trevor. I liked to come here. It made me feel like I was still connected to her. I was so lost in thought when he came up to me. At first he startled me but then I was in a trance with how handsome he was. It's not the panty dropper handsome. No it's the, I want to do all kinds of dirty things to you and not call you in the morning handsome. You know the kind. The I want to fuck you all night and be gone before the morning and never see you again kind. I could tell he was thinking the same thing about me.
His beautiful brown eyes were looking me up and down with so much desire. It took all I had to not slam my lips onto his and take him right then and there. But I was also not in a place in my life were I was even wanting a fuck and chuck. I was still broken over losing my mom. Then he spoke. He had a deep sexy voice that I'm not going to lie, it made me a little wet. Damn it I need to control these hormones.
"Hey are you ok? You look sad" Trevor asked.
"No offense but it's a little personal and I don't know you." I said trying to keep my composure but the way my voice squeaked gave me away .
" Well in that case, hi I'm Trevor" He said with a smirk.
I introduced myself to him and then he asked if I'd meet him for a drink at the bar across the street. Of course I said yes. I may not be in a place where I want something romantic but I still have eyes and he is some great eye candy. So that's what I did I went for a drink with him (with my fake ID of course). He made me laugh like I hadn't laughed in almost 2 years. He was so easy to talk too. I could feel my spirits getting lifted. Over the next year we became the best of friends. He was someone I could always count on even if he kept trying to get me to say yes to dating him.
One day we were walking through the park and something changed. There was a concert going on behind us and we could hear the most romantic music as we walked. It was like the universe was trying to tell me to stop being so scared and to give it a chance.
"Ok Trevor, let's give it a try." I said as almost a whisper.
I could tell I caught him off guard because he was speechless. So instead of talking he grabbed my hand pulled me into him, grabbed my hair and started to kiss me so hard. At first I froze but then I started to kiss him back. The feeling of his tongue touching mine, his hand trailing down my side, it gave me goose bumps all over my body. I don't even remember how we got back to my house or how we ended up in my bed. The only thing I knew is that I wanted him and my body was aching for it.He was tender at first trailing kisses up and down my body. His touch was setting my body on fire. He moved up to my lips. One hand was inside my panties giving me so much pleasure and teasing the shit out of me at the same time. I took off his shirt and holy shit he had a nice body and those tattoos were oh my damn! He could tell I was in awe of his body because he gave me the sexiest smile I had ever seen. Damn that smile and that body got me hooked on him like he was my drug.
He took off my shirt and bra and I was still on the verge of losing it. One of his hands were still inside my panties. His fingers were going in and out of me while he whispered in a deep low sexy voice and nibbling on my ear "God damn you are perfection"
When he moved down and started to bite my nipples I lost all control and started to scream out in pleasure. I could tell he was enjoying my reaction to his touch cause I could feel how hard he was on my hip. Let's say I wasn't disappointed. I started to unbutton his pants and pushed them off with my feet. There he was standing, naked with all his beautiful big hard glory and goddamn he was beautiful!
He took my skirt and panties off. This was it. After this moment we are passing the friend zone and entering the lovers zone. I didn't know if I was willing to chance losing him as a friend. But as soon as his dick made contact with my pulsing core I no longer cared. I wanted him in anyway possible. He rubbed the tip of his dick on my clit making me so fucking wet.
"God Trevor please get inside me." I said as a pathetic whimper.
He listened to my pleas and put his beautiful dick inside me. Feeling him inside me was enough to take me over the edge. He started out slow but then it got rough and hard. I couldn't get enough. He felt so damn good and he knew what he was doing. I had one orgasm after another. I scratched my nails on his back. He bit down on my nipple and holy fuck me I've never cum so hard in my life.
So this was us for the next six months. We were going at it like rabbits every chance we got. I didn't care because he made me feel so good that I would forget how sad I was. That was until one day when everything changed between us.
We started to argue all the time. I couldn't even tell you what we were arguing about. He was so angry all the time. The make up sex was always so amazing that I would forget why we were fighting.
So that brings us back to now. The first time he ever hit me. The first time I became a shadow of who I used to be. The first time I am standing in my bathroom crying my eyes out over him. The house I had so many happy and wonderful memories with my mom has now become filled with so much sadness and pain.
He did that! He's breaking me and I still love him. How fucked up is that? I started to try to get myself together when I look up and he's standing there next to me. When did he come in? He looks as broken as I am.
"Trevor you need to leave." I said refusing to look at him.
"Please Cadence don't say that. I'm so sorry! I'll never do that to you again." He said with a voice that broke me with how much sadness in it.
"Trevor, look at what you did to me. We aren't good for each other!" Each word that came out of my mouth broke me into even more broken pieces.
"How can you say that?" He whispered I to my ear sending chills down my spine.
Trevor started to kiss my forehead and slid his hand inside my pants. His thumb was rubbing my clit and he put two fingers inside me moving them in and out. I couldn't help but let out a tiny moan. He moved his lips next to my ear while starting to move his fingers faster and almost like it was his breath is talking
"Does this not feel good?" His other hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me tight into his body. He's right he does feel good. His touch is my weakness and he is without a doubt, my drug. I can't resist him; he does look sorry that he did that. So many maybe's and hopes were running through my head. The hope he won't do this again and I can get my best friend back. I start to kiss him and it was like the first kiss we ever had while I start to come on his hand. It feels like my friend who I love has come back to me.
So who am I to fight this. The heart wants what the heart wants right? I can't lose my best friend; I know he's still in there. I can feel it in his kiss, I can feel it in his touch, and I can see it in his eyes. I don't know if I'm even strong enough to live without him. I'm letting myself get lost in him again. I'm showing him how much I need him and he's letting me. I enjoy taking him into my mouth. I enjoy watching how tight his stomach gets when I suck him off. He lies there and watches me continue to pleasure him. How can something that feels so fucking good be bad for me? He catches me off guard when he grabs my hair and pulls me down while he flips over and gets behind me. He grabs my hips and pulls me onto him hard while still pulling my hair. This is new and so rough it knocks the wind out of me.
He keeps slamming himself inside me I don't know if I want to cry cause it's so rough or if I want to scream out in pleasure. I've never had so many mixed emotions like this. Next thing I know he's flipping me over on my side while still slamming into me. I've never had it this rough before but there's a big part of me that loves this so much. Before I know it I have tears streaming down my face. Was it from pleasure or pain? I don't know but part of me knows that this is going to take me further down the rabbit hole. I am fucked, in every possible way.

A/N Let me know what you think so far by leaving me a comment and don't forget to press that little star to vote for the chapter. Until next time XOXO