The Different Shades of Love {WATTYS 2018}

Chapter 7

"I've found a reason for me, To change who I used to be, A reason to start over new, And the reason is you" Hoobastank

I walked into Jade's house and she was in the living room waiting for me.

"Where the hell have you been Cadence? I've been going crazy. You didn't answer your phone."
I could see she was beyond pissed at me but whatever. I can't deal with this right now.

"Listen Jade I've had a fucked up morning and I need to change to go meet someone. So can we please do whatever this is later?"
I know I'm coming across as a spoiled child right now but I'm mentally exhausted and I still have to go deal with Trevor.

"Oh I'm sorry that me worrying about you isn't a big deal. You know Cadence you can be so selfish sometimes. Do you think of anyone else other then yourself? You know what I don't care. I can't even look at you right now." Jade walks out of the house slamming the door.
"Great. Just fucking great." Pile this onto the craptastic day. Meeting Trevor is just the cherry on top of this steamy pile of shit that is today.

I went into the room I'm staying in and ran a brush through my hair. Threw on an old air of jeans, a white tank top, some pink lip gloss, and my black rimmed glasses. I can't be bothered wearing my contacts longer then I already have been.
My stomach feels like it's going to turn itself inside out. Oh crap I'm going to be sick. I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could and emptied it into the toilet. I'm pretty sure I'm having a nervous breakdown right now. I'm sitting next to the toilet with my knees up to my chest. I can't stop shaking and crying. I feel like I'm slipping away. My vision is getting hazy and just like that darkness falls over me.

All the sudden a flash of white light appears and my mom was standing there in front of me. Her long white hair is pulled into a side braid, she's wearing a sparkling white dress, and the color that drained from her face before she lost the battle to cancer is back on her face.
"Mom wh..what are you doing here? Am I dead?"
My mom reached out and touched my face. "No baby girl you aren't dead. You are having a panic attack and you need to stay strong. You need to find yourself again my beautiful girl. I know how you just want to give up but you are stronger then this baby. So I need you to pick yourself up and keep going. I'm always here with you. I love you so much Cadence." Tears started to run down my face as the light faded out and the blackness returned. I steady my breathing, wiped the tears off my face, and stood up.

"You're right I'm stronger then this. I'll keep fighting mom. I miss you so much." I dusted my clothes off and shook my hair out. Now time to go face one of my demons. "Breathe in. Breathe out. You can do this Cadence." With those last words of my pep talk I walked out of the house and started my way towards Grounds.

As I walk into Grounds I can feel my stomach drop. At least being in public I know he won't do anything to me. I don't know why he won't just let me go. Hopefully this will be what will close the door on us. I just want to move on with my life. I look around but I don't see Trevor anywhere. Maybe it's not too late to turn around and walk out. Just as that thought came, a server tapped my arm.
"Sorry to startle you but are you Cadence?"

"Yeah I'm Cadence. How do you know my name?" The server hands me a big sunflower. "The man who told me to give you this is waiting for you in our private room."
I can see how excited she is as I take the sunflower (which happens to be my favorite flower) from her. If she only knew that the man I was going to be meeting was a woman beating asshole. No Cadence don't ruin love for this poor hopeless soul. Cause lets get real. Love, it's a crock of shit. So instead of shattering her, I just smiled and walked to the private room.