Just a Game | Eugene Lee Yang x Reader fanfic

Uncertain.

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a few days! I was out of town, and then having issues with carpal tunnel but I'm here now and I've missed you guys! Now time to toss you guys some angst. 

The biggest difficulty with the routine Eugene and I had going on was that he pretty much automatically knew when something was off. I was able to push it off a little by saying that I was hanging out with Chantel, and it was actually something I could use - some girl time. I didn't bring up the issues I was having, not wanting to get into it but just have some time to relax. Eugene and I spent a lot of our free time together, and we needed a little break; no, not anywhere near a breakup, just a few hours to hang out by ourselves or with other friends. It would be good for us, and good for me to not do something rash out of heartbreak.

 I was off the hook for one day, but I knew I couldn't keep it out without making him suspicious, but I still needed time to figure all this out and try to see where my head was at. Ned didn't tell me to talk to him or to break up or makeup with him, he told me to figure out what was best for me. Yes, Eugene made me really happy, but would we come to a standstill at some point? He told me he thought he was falling in love with me, and I was questioning if he meant it. I knew communication was an important part of a relationship, but so was a little bit of time apart, to get my head on straight and figure out what I needed to communicate.

I was saved Thursday by a Try Guys shoot that meant staying late and being busy. They were working on getting a lot of videos filmed, so they could put out more content. It was fine with me and gave me extra time to think. Of course, that meant extra time to think, and borderline have a panic attack. Yes, it may be kind of stupid to be getting so worked up over a guy I'd been dating just over a month, but we'd gotten intense really fast, and losing that was scary.

You don't know if you're losing it. You need to pull yourself together and talk to him. The rational part of my mind was chiming in, and I knew it was right. I'd done enough thinking and gave myself enough time on my own. I couldn't make any decisions without talking to him first. 

Life worked in my favor, and given it was a Friday, we were just finishing some stuff up to prepare for the weekend time off. A few meetings, posting some videos, a little editing, but fairly relaxed. Once we were finishing up for the day, I went over to where Eugene was packing up his back for the weekend. "Hey," I murmured. It felt like we hadn't talked in days, and we really hadn't. A few texts here or there, a stolen kiss in the hallway, but we'd been so busy, we kind of fell into our own patterns. 

"Hey, beautiful," he said, leaning over to kiss me. I couldn't help but smile softly. Even when I was worried and uncertain about our future, he still gave me butterflies. 

"Can we get some coffee, and take a walk for a bit?" I asked. It may be a weird request at the end of the workday, on a Friday but I didn't want to do this at one of our places, and I wasn't in the mood for food. I needed to be moving while we talked. 

"Sure?" he said, the question prevalent in his voice.  

I nodded and grabbed my own bag, waiting for him to finish with him before we headed to the coffee shop down the street. We each got a cup of coffee to go and started to walk down the street. There had been some small talk while we got the coffee, asking how I was feeling, me asking about his projects, little things until we got back onto the street and started walking, figuring we could just kinda go around the block. 

"So, uhm," I started, trying to figure out where to behind. "I saw the new Try Guys video," I commented like I had with Ned. 

He glanced over at me, brow quirked in a mix of curiosity and confusion. "I haven't gotten to see the final product yet, too busy. How'd it come out?"

So he hadn't seen it, therefore didn't know what had made it and what hadn't. Considering how long they had been filming, I assumed each of their sessions was probably about the length of the whole video, if not longer. "It came out good. It seemed like you guys had a lot of fun with it, for the most part," I said, sipping my coffee.

"Yeah, there were definitely some serious questions slipped in there. And me interrogating Ned," he joked. 

I cracked a little smile, remembering that. "Yeah, they kept that in, or at least part," I acknowledged. 

"What else did they keep?" he asked, looking over before sipping his coffee. 

I chewed on my lip, fidgeting with my coffee cup. "There was actually something in there I wanted to talk to you about..." I murmured. He didn't say anything, and a glance in his direction told me he was waiting for me to continue. "Ned asked whether you believed in true love or not," I elaborated, before sipping my coffee again.

It clicked then, and he glanced over at me. A look of regret washed over him, and I wasn't sure whether it was for not realizing it sooner, not having warned me, or his answer in general. "Y/N..." 

"I'm not gonna ask if you meant it, because that's the whole point of the test," I commented. Dammit, I could feel my eyes welling up; this was supposed to be the whole point of waiting, but no, clearly even that didn't help. 

"It's something hard to believe in because of my parents," he explained, our walking having slowed so we were barely moving. "It doesn't change the fact I really do like you," he said.

For some reason, that stung. I knew he had said before he was falling in love with me, and not actually in love with me, and I was wondering if he ever would. "If you don't believe in it, do you know that you could ever feel that though?" I asked. 

"Sometimes people change the way you think. It's not like how I feel is set in stone. You have your trust issues, it doesn't mean you'll never be able to trust me, it just means there are some changes to be made," he pointed out, stopping to turn to me. 

"Do you think you ever can though?" I asked, watching him. I reached up to brush away a rogue tear. 

He nodded. "I do. I didn't elaborate on the video because it's not something that needs to be discussed in a video. I should have talked to you about it afterward or made time to tell you about it, and I'm sorry for that," he said. 

I nodded a little, just trying to let it process, tossing my coffee cup out in a trashcan nearby.

"Are you gonna be alright?" he asked, following suit before resting his hands on my sides.

"I think so," I murmured.

"Are we going to be?" he followed up, raising a brow.

I glanced up at him, seeing he was worried about our future too. "I hope so," I said, leaning up to kiss him.