Don't Throw Away Your Shot

15. Me? I loved him.

Laurens POV

I stormed into the room again, slamming the door behind me. At the sudden sound everyone looked up, 'Helpless' playing in the background. How fitting. I strode over towards Hamilton's corner, his eyes trying not to meet mine. I ignored his obvious unwanting nature towards me. I glanced around at the others, the sisters were mumbling to each other, Madison and Jefferson were cuddled up under a bench, Lafayette and Mulligan were sitting apart, exchanging glances. I stood in front of Hamilton and held out my hand.

"I want to talk to you. Outside." He lifted his head at my request, confusion in his eyes. He reluctantly got up and followed me out the door. I pulled him into the main hallway, looking behind me. "Washington said that I should let you think but I think we need to talk."

He kept his eyes on the ground and sighed. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry." He put his head in his hands. I softened my gaze, putting my hands on his shoulders.

"Why are you apologising? It's me who should be sorry. I've just been so quiet about it," I dropped my arms.

"That's understandable though. I mean it's only been a couple days, not even that, and you've already gone through so much because of me." I could see a tear slide down his wrist.

"So? It's been the best two days of my life! I've never been so happy, not even when I was dating Lee," I smiled wearily at the ground. I needed to say something to make him feel better. I took a deep breath and mustered the courage I felt after talking with Washington, "I like you okay?!" He lifted his head, his eyes wide. I knew I was turning red and I almost instantly regretted saying it.

"But in the car you looked shocked...when I kissed you..."

"Oh so that was intentional? But no, I was so happy! And confused!"

"Really? Oh thank god," he sighed in relief.

I awkwardly smiled at him, "I mean I'm not saying we should date, I don't think I'm ready for that right now. That's okay, right?"

"Yes of course! I could wait a thousand years for you," he smirked, winking. Back to his usual self. Thank the lord. I laughed.

"So anything else you want to say? While we're here?" I questioned him. There was a short pause while his eyes studied my beckoning face.

"I like you too." He leaned forward and placed a kiss on my cheek. My head felt dizzy and I smiled, savouring the warmth of his lips. He stepped back and gestured towards the room again. I could see from the window that Lafayette was trying to spy on us, his face squashed up against the glass. As he saw us walking back he panicked and scrambled away from it. We heard a faint crash a few seconds after. Hamilton opened the door, letting me in first.

Lafayette approached us from a flipped table, holding his arm to his side. "Alexander, Laurens! I wasn't spying on you, no!" He greeted us nervously. We both smiled at him in return.

"What happened to the desk?" I questioned, knowingly, pointing to the upturned table.

"Nothing at all mon ami! It was like that already!" I shook my head at his antics, feeling apart of the group again. Everyone was smiling, and I reveled in the happiness I could feel.

"What song are we up to?" Hamilton asked as we both sat down in his corner. I saw Angelica get up to walk over to us. She sat down with us.

"Story of tonight reprise. Lin and Ramos just did it," she winked at us, "and now they have to hide it." I smiled at the floor, listening to the lyrics.

I could hear Ham mumble along, "Won't tell the story of tonight,

Let's have another round~"

I felt my cheeks flush again and smiled at him, swaying my head to the music. He winked back and I'm almost positive I heard someone taking a picture.

Someone stopped the music. "Well, now everyone's back," they directed the comment at us, "wanna go back to where y'all left off?" I looked up to see Peggy on Angelica's computer. I nodded and Ham guided me back his corner where we sat down and he pulled up the lyrics to 'Lin-Manuel Miranda'. Peggy started up the music and Burr began to sing. I noticed Lafayette spying on Hamilton and I and I half-laughed, he was persistent.

My part was approaching again but this time I knew - or at least hoped - I'd be able to do my lines. I focused hard on the lyrics and as "...grow up to be a hero and a scholar?" passed Burr's lips I sung, "The ten dollar, founding father without a father got a lot farther by workin' a lot harder, by bein' a lot smarter, by bein' a self starter, by fourteen they placed him in charge of a tradin' charter." Jefferson then began his lines and my eyes darted to my next lines and I gained a flush on my face. The song continued on and when it came to them I felt that Hamilton had leant his head on my shoulder and was nuzzled up to my side, singing his lines.

I could feel my face burning and my throat worked, but I managed to sing out, "Me, I loved him.