Alyssa
--
Its currently 4 am. I just cant seem to fall asleep. I sign and grab my phone and go on instagram.
I check my feed and search up shawns name for fun. I click on his recent and notice all the hate he was getting. Hahaha. He deserves it. I honestly don't see what the "mendes army" sees in him.
I find one comment that stood out to me.
Go kill your self
I don't know why but that got me. This goes to far. He doesn't deserve this! I frown and look at him. Hes peacefully sleeping.
Ehhh, who cares. Hes a celebrity, hes used to it.
I finally feel tired and fall asleep.
---
Shawn
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Ever since my career became serious....I started getting bad anxiety. Its not that bad...but its bad enough for me to have an attack.....when theres to many people or I start getting panicky. I also mostly get them when im in a bad state of mood. Shows are the hardest but the adrenaline kicks in. Lucky I haven't had an attack on stage yet.
Im currently up right now....its 8 am. We dont have to be out of the hotel by 10. Alyssa is still sleeping. I sign and get up. I make my way over to the bathroom and do my stuff. After, I make my way out and check my bags for my pills. I open the little black bag and look for a little orange pill bottle. Its not there. "No.no.no.no" I say to my self. Its really not there. I look every where for it. I cant find it. No. This cant be happening. What if I have an attack today? I have a show. No.no.no. please.please
I then start to feel dizzy and my breathing becomes faster. I ignore it and check the bathroom once more. Nope nothing.
I walk out and see Alyssa sitting up in her bed rubbing her eyes.
Maybe she seen it.
"Hey, um- uh ha-have you seen a orange pill bottle anywhere?" I ask with sweat coming out of me and my breathing go faster.
I look at her. She looks at me and then shakes her head.
"Are you okay? Why whats wrong?" She says getting up.
"I-i-i cant find my pills. I need them" I say a little jumpy.
She gets up and comes over to me. I then feel dizzy and my lungs start to hurt.
"Shawn! Whats wrong?...whats happening" she asks.
"Sit down" she says helping me walk to the bed. I look at her while my eyes start to tear up. She has a panicked face on her.
"Shawn..look at me. Breath in and breath out" she says calmly.
I nod.
Breath in and breath out
In
Out
In
Out
I repeat the process over and over intil my breathing goes back to normal.
"What happend?" She asks.
I wipe the tears off my face and look down.
"Im sorry" I say feeling guilty about her seeing me this way.
"Yeah, you should be. You woke me up" she says. I laugh noticing the sarcasm in her voice.
I look up and see that she's wearing glasses and a tank top. God she's really pretty.
"What happend?" She says once more.
"Oh...I uh I have anxiety..more like a panic disorder." I say. She looks at me.
"Dont all celebrities have that?" She scolfs. I look at her and nod "no".
"I had a little of it before my career started. It wasnt this bad though. The crowds, cameras and the stress made it worse" I say. She looks down at me and shrugs.
"What were you looking for?" She says.
I look inter her dark brown eyes. "Oh...my pills" I say.
"Oh! You do drugs?!...I knew it" she screams. What?
"No.no.. there for my anxiety" I say looking hurt. I look at her who just gives me the look of "yeah right" . She goes away into the bathroom.
What is up with her?
Why does she hate me?
What did I do?
----
Alyssa.
If I have to be honest. That was one of the most terrifying thing ive been through. He looked horrible.
Im just mad he woke me up.
I go to the bathroom to clear my mind. He just had a panic attack and I helped him. I grab my tooth brush and tart brushing my teeth.
He doesnt have his pills though. Why should I worry though? Like he worries for me.
I go out and see him dressed. He is wearing a blue and black flannel with a black shirt underneath. With black skinny jeans. Why am I checking him out.
I grab my clothes which is:
Burgandy flowy shorts with a white t-shirt and white converse. I put my hair in two French braids.
I go light on the makeup.
"Lets go?" Shawn asks. I nod and grab my phone.
"Are you fine...you still dont have your pills" I asks him.
Why the heck am I asking.
"Uhh..yeah. I feel a little jumpy but im fine" he says.
I nod and leave.
YOU ARE READING
Shawn who?
Fiksi Penggemarinspired by "tour bus" by @Emilyqveen Summary: Andrew gertlers daughter, is being forced to tour with his client...shawn Mendes. She first thinks its the worst thing ever....but when she finnaly gets to know him better. She finds out his hardship...
