Scar Tissue

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by someonesideways

by someonesideways

I can still feel pieces of you beating within me

Some are constant
Aches that penetrate the scar tissue that has grown over every memory of you

Some are momentary
Like when I smell your cologne on a stranger
Or find myself looking for your face in the crowd
Or catch a handful of air when I am scared and reach for you

The scar tissue does not fix the ache
It only numbs the pain
Built of "maybe if I tell myself I'm over you enough then one day I can believe I am"
And one night stands
And empty bottles
And full ash trays
Scar tissue is not a cure-all

So I lay outside on the dew wet grass
At 1 in the morning
in hopes that if I stare at the moon and the stars for long enough then maybe I'll feel something other than empty

You are not the damage done to me
But you are the inspiration to blood red rivers flowing from my wrist
And one day
Much like your memory
They will be covered in scar tissue