Hanging By A Sentence : The Words That Made Me Less Dysphoric

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Never has there ever not been a thought in my mind that I wasn't suppose to be biologically female

I always thought that there are pros and cons of both sexes:

Girls seem to just get away with.......anything. All you have to do is bat your lashes and pout you lips, and you're as innocent as a newborn. It doesn't seem fair when the girl is a double-sided, cake-faced, wickedly cruel liar.

But girls have stuff like make up, mostly directed towards towards women. I like to do what a lot of kids did as kids and just play with makeup. I can pretend to be someone else, or just get a second glance and compliment on a bad day.

The world has seem to have made boys the dominant sex. And over time, many men have come to believe that equal rights is just letting men have more rights than women. I'm definitely not saying that every single male, biological or not, is this way. But the males who actually go against this and aim for real equality are just shamed for it. That's as ridiculous as saying you can't have a burger because you already like hot dogs and don't need more protein.

But pretty nice products and brands like Axe Body Spray to Hot Wheels, that I normally find more appealing than most things 'meant' for my biological sex, have been something that looked way cooler to me as a kid than "Barbie" and super expensive perfume that just makes a lot of people nauseous anyway.

I could've had so many options as a kid if people just didn't push all these rolls and dividing lines on something from as simple as an object to as complicated as having a strong opinion that isn't politically correct. And since I have grown more independent, people have come to learn that I'm not going to listen if you spew some bullshit to me about how I'm not lady-like or that how I'm dressing isn't how I'm suppose to dress.

I can care less because I am NOT a girl. And I'm NOT a boy. I am ME. I am a biologically female, agender, pansexual, leaning a little bit more towards masculine, sort of in the closet, anti-gender roll following, agnostic, being who is not COMPLETELY scared to give my opinion nor follow how my personality has made me become either it be seen as a sin or people turning on me over a disagreement.

I'm not the person who is quiet and only observes the world while acting clueless anymore, and I never want to be ever again.

That being said, no on else should have to be scared, or abused, or rejected for not being the 'norm' that we have had for seemingly so long.

If you don't have anything giving you light or confidence on your being, then let me show you what helped me. And it's actually not ALL about gender identity and sexuality. there is more.

NPC-Jess on Deviantart: Q: What is your sexuality? A: Pansexual. What even is gender?

When you hear something like that when you're not for sure on whether you are gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, etc...and you see a question like this, it seems to open this whole new view to those who are actually willing to open enough to give it consideration instead of just flat out without being totally sure what you are because of homophobia and say that you are straight.

Jazzmyne from BuzzFeed: *body positivity in general but one part in this video*

Jazzmyne: A little bit of flab, but who doesn't these days?
I have felt overweight for a very long time, and this really made me feel like everyone has has insecurities and I really shouldn't have to make it a big thing when there is someone who find that flaws to be something great about you.

_prettyboyhowell_ *cuts hair short after I've been scared to have mine cut for years because of a bad hair cut in the past* "I don't think you'd look bad with short hair" "The Y or the V, dude." *In response to me saying life sucks just out of nowhere* "But why?" "You can talk to me if you ever need to"
Like dude why are you so supportive over everything
I'm so fucking annoying and I'm confused
He's actually one reason I cut my hair, I have an older figure irl to make me feel like it's okay to be gay, and made me feel less scared to put up my experiences and opinions on anxiety and LGBTQ+ stuff.

Kelly Eden:

Okay this whole video in general I found I can relate to her coming out story since it's kinda how I was before coming out. And it's not only her coming out but her talking about her battling depression and anxiety. Her channel can seem very pastel and kawaii but there are some darker moments that have helped me and a lot of people.

Dre Ronayne on YouTube:

When Dre talks about how she felt at the end of the video about how she felt uncomfortable dressing in a way she isn't particularly fond of wearing made me remember how many times people have misjudged me on my own clothes since it's pretty dark in my wardrobe. Dre just flaunts her style and it always makes me feel better because I can actually get over people insulting what I wear.

DarkTunnels "Don't cut, it's not worth it." This is something that hits me differently than anyone else who has ever said to me not to cut. You can have idols over the internet say not to cut, but sometimes I can lose that. Her telling me not to cut is different because she's there in my life, someone I don't just see on a screen. Thanks to her, I have been clean for over a year.

I hope that someone can actually find and idol or safe place through this because I know that I have.

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