Sophie's feelings towards her best friend, Gabriel, she protects like it's her dearest treasure, in fear of someone finding them. In fear of him finding out. So she grabs her pen and writes her loveletters which he will never receive.
Dear Gabe It's October now. Time goes by so freaking fast, don't you think? You've been away since June. Whenever I think of it and how far away you are, which is every single second, a lump forms itself in my throat and I shed some tears. I don't really know why I'm crying so much. Is it because I miss you? Is it because I know you don't like me back that way? Is it because you're dating Vicky? Is it because I know there's an ocean between us? Or is it simply just everything?
Mum's been trying to get me out of my room non stop, but I won't budge. So she yelled at me. I don't blame her. I know how much of a disappointment I am right now. But honestly, I blame you. Yeah, I blame you. You caused all this pain by ignoring me. If we kept on talking like we did before, everything would be fine. At least it would be okay.
"Please come with me to the grocery store, Sophie. I need help and you need to get out of this room," mum said.
"Ask Alexa," I answered. But then I realized she wasn't here anymore either. I didn't tell you, right? Alexa moved. She moved to London, which luckily isn't that far away. You probably know she just turned 20, so she bought an apartment in London.
Mum sighed and just looked at me. Disappointed.
"What has been happening with you lately?" She asked me.
I just shrugged. "Nothing, I'm just tired."
And then I'm sure she was about to get crazy.
"That has been your excuse for months now, Sophie! You need to start and live your life, live with the fact that Gabriel isn't here anymore. You need to move on. And I'm sure you'll see him again," she said.
I didn't say anything at first. Should I really live with the fact that my best friend of twelve years moved away and ignores me full time?
"I just don't want to do grocery shopping, okay?" I said a little harsher then expected.
"You know what, forget it. If you want to rot in here, do it. I've been trying to get you out for weeks, but nothing helps!" she then yelled. She walked out and slammed the door shut, hard.
Usually when mum yells at me, I will cry. But today, I didn't. Guess I don't have any tears left because the only thing I've been crying about is you.
I hope you're doing fine.
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