Sophie's feelings towards her best friend, Gabriel, she protects like it's her dearest treasure, in fear of someone finding them. In fear of him finding out. So she grabs her pen and writes her loveletters which he will never receive.
Dear Gabe I have no idea how to feel right now. Mum just came with some news, some BREAKING news, and I can't figure out if I'm happy, relieved, scared or nervous.
You are coming home.
Not forever, but you're coming here for Christmas, to visit your grandparents. And guess what?
Your parents invited my family to spend Christmas Eve with you. With your family. I can't believe this.
As I wrote, I can't figure out how I feel. A part of me is extremely happy because I get to see you again. Another part of me is nervous, nervous because I don't know how I will act in front of you now, and even worse; I don't know how you will, either. We haven't spoken in forever. And another part of me is even mad. I'm angry. I'm angry at you, for ignoring me all these months, and now I have to face you. I know I can't ignore the fact that you did it.
I'll just say that I am looking forward to see you, even though I know it won't be the same.
And hey, this is supposed to be the last letter. And I am going to write down the rest of all my thoughts I've buried inside my head for these past months. Now I think is the time to let them out, once and for all.
So, Gabe, I won't let you go. At least not yet. I will still hold on to you, I will still hold on to all our memories. All the hours we spent trying to bake cookies. They went straight to hell...
All the basketball games in your backyard. You'd always win over me, so you always bought me ice cream after that to lighten up my mood.
I even remember the school dance. I remember how you asked me to go with you. Back then, I had feelings for you, you know. You have no idea how happy you made me that night. The worst part is just that I know you went with me there as a friend, but to me, it was so much more.
And I will never forget the day you moved. I was crying. I went with you and your family to the airport, to say goodbye. You even cried a little. You told me you'd always be here for me and that I'd always have the biggest place in your heart. Broken promises. They were all broken promises, Gabe.
The moment I saw you walking away, I knew what I had lost. I was planning on telling you how I felt about you, but I didn't have the guts. I don't know if it was better I didn't tell you. I wonder where we'd be now if I did.
Should I tell you when I see you for Christmas?
That's a really hard question. I wish I had a friend I could talk to, because I can't tell mum or dad. That would be wrong.
But there is one person... Alexa. But she's in London, busy with her own life. She probably doesn't want to hear about her little sister's complicated love life anyway.
So, I have no one left. In this situation, I can't even tell you and ask you for help, because this is all about you. About us.
I will still try and figure it out on my own. But one thing is for sure;
My feelings for you will never go away. I will always remember your smile, I will always remember how we would laugh for hours together because of nothing, and I will probably always keep on sleeping in your dark blue hoodie. I will never forget you. And I can guarantee you that's a promise I will keep. Forever.
So, Gabriel Alejandro; no matter what happens, no matter where you are, how you are, who you're with or what you've done, I will always, truly and honestly love you.
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